The Lustery Guide to Long Distance Sex

February 24, 2017 7 min read

In the modern age of Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram we are meeting people from all over the world. Sometimes those connections become friendships, and more. Distance just isn't the hindrance it once was. The internet and mobile communication (not to mention cheap flights) have made the World a much smaller place. But how do you keep things sexy when you're an ocean apart?

With apps like Skype, Facetime, and What'sApp it is really easy to be with your partner without really being with your partner. However, sometimes it can be hard to find the confidence to 'dirty' or sexy talk with your partner. If you're a bit shy start slowly. For instance, sexting...

The big bonus of text (either phone or email) is in the fact that you can fake it (obviously, I'm not talking about your orgasm) but your sexual confidence. You can say all the things you might be too shy to say face to face (or over the phone), so take the opportunity to tell your partner your intimate desires. 

It can also be a great way to easily share your fantasies. This can be a great way of building your confidence. It doesn't have to be complicated, start with the simple things. Think about the last time you were together and tell them what they did that you loved, or what you did to them, or what reactions they had.

If you want to start including phone sex but you're still feeling too shy to talk dirty on the phone, try calling your partner while you're masturbating. Simply describe what you're doing to yourself, while you're doing it and let the sound of your gasps and groans fill in the gaps. They'll hopefully want to join you.

Another great idea if you're stuck for what to say is to buy two copies of an erotic book (a short story collection would be great), send your lover one copy keep the other. You can then choose to read out stories to each other. Or read them separately, and talk about your favourite naughty bits, this second one can also give you an insight into the things your partner might like to try.

Once you're comfortable with talking on the phone you may decide you want to start including video. There are various ways you can do this; it doesn't have to be live. You can make and exchange short video clips, this can include giving each other 'tasks' to film. Start with teasing and you can progress at your own pace. This is my favourite way to have long distance sexy fun because I can control it easily and no matter how graphic the video I never feel awkward because I know I can always edit before sending.

Then you have live chat services such as Skype, Facetime, Messenger, etc. With webcams, this is as simple as sitting yourself comfortable in a good position for your camera (whether phone or webcam), then calling your partner and getting started. It is a nice interactive long distance sex that is probably the closest you will get to actual in person sexy times.

There are a few things you may want to remember when having long distance sex:

Privacy – Make sure you both have privacy and time. This will help you relax and enjoy yourselves.

Prelude - Just like real life it's good to build things up. Take it slowly. A good way to do this can be to have been sending little sexy texts all day, building up anticipation before you're on camera.

Progress – If you're fully dressed at the start of the conversation make undressing a sexy show for your partner. Be cheeky, it doesn't have to be too serious. A key part of making long distance sex work can be taking things slowly, step-by-step, one piece of clothing at a time, and encouraging each other with appreciation.

Sex – Mutual masturbation. This is the part where both of you play with yourselves and watch each other play. You can take it in turns, or both go together. Enjoy yourselves. It can be good to imagine it is your partner's hands on you, tell them how great they feel.

Postlude – Try to continue the conversation for 10-15 minutes after you're both satisfied. It can seem slightly harsh to end the video talk immediately after sex.

Extra Idea

If you want to go old school, you can always send a 'lust' letter. A handwritten note telling your partner what you'd like to be doing to them, or what you wish they were doing to you is a lovely thing. To make things extra special spray the letter with a spritz of your favourite perfume or aftershave before slipping it in the envelope. And if you're feeling really brave include a photo of yourself wearing something that makes you feel sexy. 

There is something sweet and sexy about receiving an illicit letter through the mail, and it's the sort of thing you can keep forever. After all, we're still reading the 'Love Letters of Great Men'.

Cheryl Kaye
« Cheryl Kaye, also known as HornyGeekGirl is an erotica writer and sex blogger based in the Midlands. From a young age she was always telling stories. She started writing erotica on a journey to re-find herself, and she found her home. » All posts →