Solo pleasure isn’t just a mindset—it’s a practice. For Masturbation May, we’re giving you real ways to get off and feel good, solo or partnered.

Want to feel closer to yourself and your partner? Start with your own hands. These tips show you how.

Take Self Love Into Your Hands (Literally) for Masturbation May

A Self Love Guide With Actual Ways to Get Off

Love doesn’t have to mean spending every waking moment together. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is offer your partner space while practicing self love.

New real couples porn is dropping on Lustery! Watch now!

 shows that spending time alone is one of the best ways to regulate emotions and to have the most restful experience. But what if we, from that relaxed state, also used this time to ask ourselves, “What brings me pleasure?”

With that in mind, for Masturbation Month, we want to encourage you to take time for self-love. In turn, your partner (if you have one) gets time to explore their pleasure too—win-win. 

What if you tried just one of these practices this month? Keep it simple. If you’re really feeling yourself, try another. This is a choose-your-own masturbation adventure. 

Happy Couples? Yeah, They Masturbate Too. 

We’ve come a long way in reducing shame around sex. So why do we still have hang-ups about finding time to masturbate while in a relationship?

The National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior

 (NSSHB) found that married couples were least likely to have masturbated in the past 90 days. Well, they’re already having amazing sex, right? No, not necessarily—partnered sex doesn’t have to negate masturbation. 

If you’re in a monogamous relationship, think of masturbation as practice so you can discover new things you like to share with a partner. When we accept that solo sex and partnered sex can both live within our relationships, we can confidently ask a partner for time alone without triggering fears that you may find your sex life unfulfilling. 

Taking matters into your own hands is completely healthy for both of you. Why? Your partner isn’t responsible for satisfying all your needs. So you can stop worrying that cute bunny-eared dildo will replace you and start enjoying what your partner's pleasure brings. Getting acquainted with individual desires will enrich your sex life, not take away from it. 

Though it's common to experience pleasure scarcity—the sense that there isn't enough love to go around—taking time to address it could be revolutionary. In 

Pleasure Activism: The Politics Of Feeling Good

, Adrienne Maree Brown writes that in liberated relationships, “there is enough attention, care, resource, and connection for all of us,” and that goes as much for partnerships as it does for safe communities. 

Yes, that's right, changing your attitude around pleasure could change the world.

Practice 1: Find Time to Get Familiar With How You Already Get Off

Maturbate, as you normally do. No need to think about technique, allow yourself to sink into your habitual solo sex acts. But this time, take notice of how you masturbate. Get curious. What strokes do you use? Up and down? Side to side? How fast? How slow? How hard? How soft? Take note. There’s no perfect way to masturbate, all genitalia is different. Have fun exploring your own. 

Prefer some moral support? Possibly in the form of sex toys?

share their go-to sex toys when the cameras aren’t rolling—from their favorite dildos to vibrating cock rings. 

Watch Melissa & Jason play with their toys on Lustery now

You’re Not Broken—You’re Just Horny (and That’s Normal)

Perhaps the most common masturbation fear resembles that of 

, where issues are less likely to come from the act itself, but individual relations to it. 

For example, feelings of guilt may arise from shame around sexuality, or even fantasies, to which the godmother of masturbation, 

, says, "honey, the dirtier and nastier, the better". In reality, unless you’re shoving a Mars bar up there (absolutely do not do that), the most to fear about touching yourself is fear itself. As 

 explains, it’s the “negative feelings about masturbation” themselves that “threaten our health and well-being”.

But the truth is, you are your safest sex partner. Not only safer, but masturbation comes with an array of mental and physical health benefits too—it can even boost your 

. Popping a deposit in the pleasure bank with some self-love is an investment in your well-being, as sexologist 

 explains, “masturbation improves self-confidence, reduces stress, and helps you sleep better”. Not to mention the 

dopamine hit you get from having an orgasm

Practice 2: Get Turned On by Others—Then Try It Yourself

ilm yourself and make your own homemade porno. 

See how Dana & Kuka film their sex life on Lustery now

Want to find more pleasure in your porn-watching? Try the Lustery 

 to better understand your relationship to pornography and how to consume it guilt-free. 

Ready to Graduate From the Same Old Stroke Session?

So you’re ready to embrace self-pleasure but want a firmer grasp on the subject? If you’re bored of the predictable quick wank to Pornhub, head over to Lustery to watch 

On Lustery, you can watch real-life couples exploring their sex lives with the authenticity of a real sexual experience—no storylines, no scripts, just legit lovin'. Lustery videos are longer than most, so you can indulge and discover what excites you. 

Practice 3: Go On, Get Down With Your Nasty Self

From squirting to roleplay to dirty talk to brat play—ask yourself, what interests you as something you want to try versus just enjoy watching. Treating yourself to new techniques can expand beyond just learning new hand movements. So go on and step into some roleplay by trying on a new persona. Or test out some dirty talk and get nasty with yourself in front of the mirror, tell yourself just how bad you’ve been. How will you know if it’s “your thing” unless you try?

Watch couples like Mitsuki & William try new techniques on Lustery

It Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated, This Is for You

If you don’t feel like masturbating right now, then I invite you to take some time to ask yourself: what brings you pleasure? 

Maybe it's listening to music, donning a face mask, or reading a sumptuous novel. Or perhaps you just need a reminder to stop reading the news. By doing something that makes you feel good, you’re practising self-compassion. According to couples therapist 

, self-love is "the ability to not fall into a puddle of contempt even when we mess up." Bonus? Being compassionate towards yourself empowers you to do so with others.

If none of these practices call to you, then let this be a reminder that self-love isn’t selfish. It’s about bringing pleasure to yourself and allowing that to blossom out to those around you. So take your fucking time. 