Ms Blah Monthly Horoscope

December 4, 2019 9 min read


ARIES Mar21-Apr19


Take one avocado. Smash it, add salt, pepper, 

and mix it with grated parmesan cheese. 

Is perfect for any kind of pasta, from noodles to macaroni. 

Optional toping: crunchy fried bacon in thin strips.


TAURUS Apr20-May21


Uranus will be in your house for 7 years filling you with ideas and innovative projects. 

Be focused, relaxed, and get the best of it’s influence. Congratulations.


GEMINI May21-Jun20


If only you could lie to others like you lie to yourself 

you will be no less than president of an Oil Company or even of a small country.


CANCER Jun21-Jul22


A music producer finds your talent when singing I Want To Break Free in French
(Je Veux Ètre Libre Radicalment) at the karaoke party after the company dinner.
Your first record will be nominated to the Latin Grammy Award.


LEO Jul23-Aug22


Until next year you will not be able to learn anything new. 

Your brain needs the New Year’s Eve reset very much. Have fun.


VIRGO Aug23-Sep22


You discover your lover has a second life more intesting that the first shared with you and you will fall in love with them again. 

They will reject you but not your second life, considerably more boring at comparison with the first one. Ironic.



LIBRA sep23-oct22


Your crush is not going to give you any chance -basically you’ll be invisible for them- 

until you show and prove you recycle your plastics. For real, the stars know when you’re lying.


SCORPIO Oct23-Nov21


My cats, when in front of each other, synchronise their energy and create an image of the future.

 They showed me your picture holding a lot of money. I can’t say if you’re giving or receiving. Sorry.




Sometimes you feel insecure because you don’t know 

if the signs of the people involved in a porn scene match with yours. 

I totally understand but I assure you is not dangerous if they don’t. Be open to surprises.




Saturn, Pluto, Jupiter and Venus are in your house this month. 

Actually, Venus leaves the party just when Mercury arrived. Coincidence? I don’t think so.


AQUARIUS Jan20-Feb18


In another life you were against the women’s suffrage.


PISCES Feb19-March20


Growing little plants at home and taking care of them will distract you from helping another poor-thing you find on your way. Plants grow. Poor-things will empty your fridge, use your shower and smoke your stuff as ev-ery-ti-me.

Maria Blah
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