Can you be a strong, independent woman while in a Daddy/babygirl relationship?
Honestly, I didn't even imagine that the word babygirl could be related to any kinky, BDSM topic until stumbling across some post on the web talking about it years ago. It has always just been part of my own nature and of my relationship with the man that now I am proud to call Daddy.
Since then, connecting with the online fetish community has been really empowering to me: my crazy desire for cuddles at any given time of the day and of the night and my silly habit of acting like a little girl to get my partner's attention, suddenly were common and shared by hundreds of women anywhere in the world. I started to feel "normal" and no more alone: understanding my kink one little step at a time made me feel more free to indulge in my ageplaying sessions without feeling like a modern Peter Pan anymore.
But then, the Internet has a strange need to "categorize" things. Seems like everything, even things related to relationships or our sex lives, must be labelled in a certain way: think for example at a porn tube site where you see videos and performers divided into categories (BBW, interracial, femdom, ageplaying and so on).
And I feel from my personal experience that this state of mind often turns a person in a "label", and a label in a stereotype: you are a babygirl so you definitely must behave like this, this, and this.
A babygirl, or better, a woman who enjoys ageplaying, is often confused with a weak person who needs the constant presence of a caregiver. I'm sure many so-called vanilla people think I enjoy the relationship with my Daddy only because of family issues that in their fantasy happened during my childhood, and this horrifies me.
Do they really think that as a cultured 20-something woman I am not able to give up the past and look after myself?
I never considered myself a needy person: instead, since we started our long distance relationship I became more and more independent, enjoying at the same time my freedom, my personal space and the nurturing relationship with him.
Also, I consider myself totally capable to look after myself. I manage my money like a pro and it's me budgeting for our next visit: travel, sometimes a stay at an Airbnb halfway our cities even with our not so high salaries. I would never, ever stay home while he works and takes care of all our travel expenses alone: one of my first priorities in life is to pay my part of those expenses thanks to my two jobs.
Times are gone when our mothers and grandmothers were housewives without any other choice than letting the husband go work and provide a livelihood for them and their family. Heavy, physical jobs were duties of the man that was required to protect the delicate, fragile woman while she was home knitting or cooking. But how this independence we fought so much to achieve can fit with the Daddy/babygirl lifestyle?
The best advice here came to me from some of the best babygirl sex bloggers: they're smart, talented women and they still enjoy the same relationship dynamic of mine. I decided to post on my Instagram feed a pretty quote image with the fatal question to get some answers: "Can you be both a babygirl, and a strong woman?"
Miss Juicy Candy, blogger, adult product tester and owner of the sex shop online juicyroom.it was the first to comment under my post, sharing her own experience: "I like to be cuddled, I believe in fairies and love to be taken care of by my lovely husband. Then I struggle with anxiety and have two jobs: my blog and shop online and I'm a nurse who every day is responsible of a ward with 40 patients and have an equipe of 4 people who I have to organize."
Obviously being an ageplayer doesn't keep her from being a strong woman who isn't afraid of career responsibilities. I admire her so much for still being an amazing blogger and running a female-friendly, tasteful sex toy shop in her spare time.
Then another excellent sex-positive blogger, the Italian Femme Pleasure, explained how this can happen:
"I am a kitten and a strong woman. You can be both for sure. Wanting someone to take care of you once in a while doesn't mean that you can't take care of yourself. [...]It just feels good every now and then to let go of all the "grown-up stuff" and be a little and playful kitty... It's fun and feels good to have someone you can trust with a very intimate part of yourself.."
From her comment I was able to understand what was happening to me: ageplaying is just a part of my personality I love to indulge in when I feel like it's the appropriate moment, but that doesn't limit me in my independence and will never do. Also, I agree with her for what she says about trust: this plays an important role in my relationship too.
A kink should be all about fun and not a label that makes you feel someone you're not. Feel free to share your Daddy/babygirl stories with me in the comments!