Beginners Guide To Dating As a Couple

September 25, 2019 4 min read

It kind of started as a joke. Me and my partner were on holiday in Greece, having drinks when we decided to both open Tinder to check out the locals, as you would do. We had a few matches, that we decided to approach with a bold “Wanna fuck with my bf/gf and I?”, which unsurprisingly didn’t give any results as our profiles didn’t mention anything special and we really did look like tourists, but this sparked our curiosity and started a now two months long matching spree that is not ending anytime soon.

So, to spare you some time and potential mistakes, I’ve put together a starter’s kit to help you make the best out of the online dating era we are in. But of course you can always use some of these tips should you decide to go and talk to people in “real life” ;)

1. What and why?

First of all, what are you and your partner looking for? You need to discuss your desires, and adjust them if necessary. Remember you are dating as a duo, therefore you both need to agree on the same things. For example, if you want to meet a couple but your partner would rather meet just one girl/guy, you need to find a solution that works best for both of you BEFORE you meet anyone! Then why are you doing it? To explore new fantasies? Explore different bodies? Or maybe you just want to see your partner with someone else? By answering these questions you will make sure you are on the same page so that you are both feeling good and secure when going at it.

2. How?

Once you feel like you know what you want, it’s time to go for it and be out in the digital world! Depending on the country you are in, and what you are into you can use different platforms, but I would suggest opening Tinder (obviously) and Feeld (an app designed for singles or couples who want to date other singles and couples) first, as this is where most people are. I have a big preference for Feeld, as people on there are really into the idea of dating multiple people and chat quite easily, and you can also see their desires straight away on their profile, whereas on Tinder you don’t have a way to find people only looking for other couples and most people ghost you after a week anyway.


3. Your profile

Perhaps the most important step, your profile! When looking at it you need to know exactly what’s in the package, so to speak. Pictures are for me really important, you should select at least one picture where you are together, and one of both separately. Just pick the ones that look the most like you in real life! Then the description should be short but straight to the point. If you are only looking for another girl, mention it so couples don’t match you, and vice versa. Another important point, that I didn’t think about straight away but ended up being crucial: sexual orientation. If you are both bi, and only want to date only other bi couples for example, mention it too!


4. Starting the conversation

For this one, it really depends on feelings, but I have noticed that just a shy “Hi :)” doesn’t often do the trick. When you want to approach someone or a couple, the best thing is to ask an actual question. If someone’s profile is a bit unclear and you would like to know more, this could be: “Hey! Happy we matched. Are you interested in couples or girls/guys only?” Or if their profile is straightforward you can just go for a bold “Would you like to meet for a drink with us sometimes soon?”. I have noticed this is the best tactic, as most people want to take this offline as soon as possible!


5. Before the date

Once you have settled a date (congrats!), things are actually just starting! But before you meet the lucky one(s), sit down with your partner one more time and go through your boundaries, desires and also fears. Maybe this will just be a chill drink or maybe this will directly escalate to something sexual - are you both ready for that? If yes, then don’t waste another minute!

« Delfine is a voyeur/exhibitionist passionate about sex and its place in our world, human sexuality and behaviour. She likes to read and write about these topics, be naked and is half of a Lustery couple. » All posts →