So close yet so far away? Use these practical steps to bridge the distance when you and your lover are separated by long distances.

Keeping the spark alive from a distance require some creativity, especially where kinky dynamics are involved. From sexting to self-care, here’s how to play, connect and share over a distance.

Practical Tips for Long-Distance Intimacy and Kink in Romantic Relationships by Jaimee Bell

Wish You Were Here: Tools For Long-Distance Intimacy and Kink

Whether you’re in a full-time long-distance or you’re just spending some time apart during the holidays, being far away from your partner doesn’t have to mean a lack of intimacy. There are so many ways to spice up your long-distance love life, and I’m not just talking about sexting and video calls. Of course, if you and your partner are regularly quite kinky, it’s natural to be worried about losing some of that intensity when there are miles separating you. Don’t worry, though – keeping kink alive during a 

 can be tricky but it’s also totally doable 

Okay, sexting at night is fine – you’re in bed, you’re ready to please yourself, you’re actively chatting with your lover and helping them please themselves. Hear me out, though: what if you were both just living your daily lives (work, getting groceries, on the bus) while sexting?

 throughout the day and building each other’s arousal. Tell them all the dirty things you want to do to them before they head into a boring work meeting. Describe in detail how you want them to be touching you while they are at the post office. Incorporate sexting into daily life and become masters of turning each other on with just your words.

All day foreplay! Combining ordinary daytime activities with the anticipation, excitement and arousal that comes with sexting can be incredibly hot. Then, when you finally can have a steamy video chat at the end of the day, you’re both basically ready to explode.

Texting can sometimes feel disconnected. A lot of things can be misconstrued through a text, with the heart of the message not always clear. Voice and video messages from lover to lover can help bridge the gap.

: Send a voice or video message at least once per day. “We’re texting all day every day, why would I send a voice message?” is likely the question on your mind right now. Trust me – they will love it.

Instant mood boost! I don’t know about you, but hearing my lover say my name, tell me about their day, hint at something sexy or sweet… 

those things in their voice – that can make all the difference in my day.

Long-distance love has come a long way in the last 20 years. It’s not about postcards and text messages anymore; it’s about remote-controlled toys and shared orgasms.

 Buy a pair of toys that connect to each other. 

 is one of the top brands that has sex toys that can be paired, meaning one for them and one for you. These are available for hetero and same-sex lovers and not only have the ability to sync to each other’s movements, but also often give you both the ability to control the toys via an app.

 Feeling connected through pleasure. This one is really special. Video calls and sexting can be fun, but being able to hear your partner’s pleasure on the phone as you turn their toy up harder and faster can be an incredible rush and leave you feeling both connected and satisfied.

Sometimes chatting on the phone can be seamless and natural, and sometimes you find yourself searching for things to talk about. This happens with even the best of friends and the closest of lovers.

 Kinky truth-or-dare and see what happens! While on the phone, propose a game of anything-goes truth-or-dare. 

, intimate questions, random questions, cute or spicy dares – you may just surprise each other.

 A really fun, lighthearted conversation that can turn intimate and sexy very quickly! From daring them to snap a few spicy pics to asking them how they really feel about something intimate, this is a surefire way to connect while separated by miles.

Maintaining a kink dynamic while not actually being able to touch and interact with each other can be really difficult. However, whether you’re dominant and submissive or simply just exploring different types of play, there are so many kink rituals and roleplays that can happen over the phone or through text.

 Talk about your needs during the time of distance and find a way to fulfill those with new rituals. If you miss waking up to them in the morning, maybe they can ask for a morning selfie every day. If you find you’re feeling more stressed without the release you normally get while with them, perhaps you can come up with some rules on how often or in what manner you climax. If collars are a part of your dynamic, perhaps there can be allotted times in the day where your partner asks you to 

 Feeling more connected and confident in your dynamic. Distance can often make you feel disconnected, and adding new rituals or rules into your routine with them can help you both feel better about the space between you.

Sometimes when you’re really feeling the exhaustion and sadness of distance between yourself and a lover, a physical reminder of that person can make all the difference.

Exchange something physical that can remind you of each other next time you’re together. Whether it’s you taking his sweater, him keeping a pair of your panties or buying the fragrance they wear and spraying it on your bed, you may be surprised at how helpful that physical reminder of them can be on lonely nights.

 Feeling less lonely and more connected to them through tangible things. Words and reassurances are nice but having a physical thing you can hold, feel, touch or smell while thinking of them can really help make things easier.

 are incredibly important, and maybe even more so in a long-distance relationship. When your lover isn’t there to cuddle after an orgasm or hug you after a long day at work, it can feel really isolating and lonely. It’s often one of the hardest parts of long-distance love for a lot of people.

Self-care and aftercare practices determined by your partner. Talking about what you need during this time apart and asking your partner to help you come up with some actionable items you can do when you’re feeling lonely or are in need of some care can be really beneficial.

 Feeling more connected and actually setting aside time to take care of yourself. Often, you can feel how much they love you in the things they suggest and how much they want to try to make you happy and comfortable.