A few favorite women characters with disabilities who know just how hot they are.

“Authenticity” captures why female celebrities with disabilities playing characters with the same disability are my favorite portrayals. It’s why Jocelyn, the vibrant stylist played by Lolo Spencer on The Sex Lives of College Girls, is such a breath of fresh air.

Female Celebrities With Disabilities That I Love

Three TV Hotties with Disabilities I Love

Women with disabilities are undeniably hot, but if Hollywood’s output was all you had to go on, you’d think we never had sex! 

. currently living with chronic pain or disability, I’m here to set the record straight: we don’t need perfect, abled bodies to feel 

. Believe it or not, the severe chronic pain I’ve endured since an accident at 26 has even improved my sex life. 

Before, it was easier to downplay my desires in bed, but once I was hurt, voicing them became a matter of safety and not just pleasure. By the time I’d built a habit of instructing my partner where to be extra gentle with me, I was better able to express when I’d want them to be rougher, too. But of course, this experience is far from universal, and it took quite a personal journey to get there. 

Whether we’ve been born with a disability or acquired it moving through life, women with disabilities and our bodies get a heaping dose of extra scrutiny due to a sexist cultural fixation on our appearance. Ironically, the obsession with whether or not we’re “fuckable” is completely detached from physical ability, referring instead to arbitrary beauty standards. 

Whether we’ve been born with a disability or acquired it moving through life, women with disabilities and our bodies get a heaping dose of extra scrutiny due to a sexist cultural fixation on our appearance.

At least pop culture is finally changing its tune. It’s easier than ever to find a show portraying women with disabilities as the alluring and deeply sensual beings we often are, now streaming somewhere near you. These are a few of my favorites. 

Jocelyn, from The Sex Lives of College Girls 

“Authenticity” is probably the most overused term on the internet. Yet it still captures why my favorite portrayals of characters with disabilities come from actors with the same disability. It’s why Jocelyn, the vibrant stylist played by Lolo Spencer on The Sex Lives of College Girls, is such a breath of fresh air. That she’s so comfortable in her skin — and her sexuality — is just a bonus. 

Representation is great, but when it feels like a character with a disability is only being centered because some actor was after Oscar bait, it’s harmful. Plus, a performance gains depth and verisimilitude when an actor can draw on their own life to play a character, as Spencer, diagnosed with ALS as a teen, does here with her trademark exuberance. 

I loved Jessica Jones as soon as I saw how seriously the show took her post-traumatic stress. After weeks of torture and captivity by her abuser, Jessica was pounding liquor, dodging flashbacks, and generally struggling to survive. Sadly, I recognize this miserable mental state from experience. That’s why the show stood out for its portrayal of PTSD as it was being experienced, and not just what onlookers could observe. 

I once wrote for the LUSTLETTER in semi-praise of a sex scene between Jessica and Luke Cage in the first episode of this show (only ”semi-” because the way we’ve normalized lube-free 

 is criminal!) I was struck by the scene’s moodiness, and how it coexisted with the passion and mutual intrigue between them. Considering Jessica’s debilitating PTSD, it’s especially interesting. While she’s clearly on a self-destructive path, the sex scene still preserves her agency, and keeps her firmly in the driver’s seat— so to speak! 

Most adults would say we’d never repeat our adolescent years if you paid us. The constantly changing bodies, social circles, and plans for the future were dizzying enough the first time around, and that was without TikTok blaring in the background. In hindsight, it’s wild just how much there was to learn about how those new bodies would work, beyond the mechanics of babymaking. I’d certainly never heard of vaginismus back in high school, the disorder that quirky Lily discovers she has on Sex Education. 

When we first meet Lily, she’s writing filthy fan fiction about aliens and seeking a human sex partner IRL. When she finally gets her wish, it doesn’t go quite how she was expecting, and her attempts at vaginal penetration are hugely painful. When Lily’s friend and amateur sex educator Otis helps her ID the issue, she kicks off a journey to reinvent her relationship to pleasure, one full of sweet surprises. 

I really love Lily’s upbeat backstory, given how often vaginismus is (accurately) linked to trauma and violence. Bodies are weird, and sometimes it's that simple. The way we respond to those quirks is what matters the most. 