BDSM (an umbrella term referencing sexual acts relating to bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism) has been practiced for ages. While kink is slowly becoming more normalized and BDSM is becoming less taboo, there are still a lot of questions about this world.
One of the most prominent questions is: why do people do it? Why engage in BDSM? Aside from personal preferences and specific kinks that can be practiced in a BDSM scene, one of the most notable reasons people engage in these play sessions is because of how it makes them feel.
Did you know that you can actually reach altered states of consciousness during BDSM play? Let’s talk about it.
What is ‘subspace’ in BDSM?
This is the term given to a very specific state of consciousness experienced by a submissive person during a BDSM scene.
What is ‘domspace’ in BDSM?
This is the term given to a very specific state of consciousness experienced by a Dominant person during a BDSM scene.
How do submissive people feel during a BDSM scene?
This may feel different to every submissive individual, however, most claim the effects being something similar to a floating or hazy feeling. It can come on suddenly and leaves you feeling euphoric and somewhat open to suggestion.
How do Dominant people feel during a BDSM scene?
While subspace can be described as a ‘hazy’ or trance-like state, domspace is often described as an intense and focused state of mind.
How can a submissive person access subspace?
Subspace can be accessed one of two ways: through physical play (think impact play like spanking or slapping, being restrained in ropes, playing with wax) or through psychological play (like using certain words or phrases).
How can a Dominant person access domspace?
Domspace can be accessed through both physiological and psychological stimulation, similarly to subspace. It can be achieved by being the giver of pain during a session to a submissive partner or it can be achieved through trigger words and phrases used by a submissive partner during play.
Do you need domspace or subspace to participate in BDSM scenes?
No. Accessing these states of mind are not a requirement for practicing BDSM. Many people don’t achieve them, and even the people who do find them to be unique based on the situation. However, many Dominant individuals feel the need to be in some form of specific headspace before they engage in any form of physical play, as they require the focused attention and mindset that it offers them. Similarly, some submissive people feel the need to get into a specific mindset or mental zone before being able to enjoy more intense kinks like degradation or impact play.
What happens in the brain during BDSM scenes?
Through years of studying BDSM practices and the physical and emotional impact they can have on us, I’ve learned some really fascinating things.
- — Adrenaline is often released during subspace. Considering how relaxed and trance-like this state can be, it’s interesting to note that small amounts of adrenaline are pumping through you. Physically, adrenaline makes your heart beat faster. It also allows your lungs to breathe a little more efficiently. This can give submissive individuals an increased pain tolerance. It also provides some of the euphoria felt during a scene.
— Endorphins are released for both Dominant and submissive individuals. The more pleasure (or pain) that’s experienced on either side, the more endorphins will be released. Endorphins being released rapidly often lead to an increased sense of wellbeing and have been proven to reduce stress. This could be why so many people who practice BDSM can begin to feel a little on edge when it’s been a while since they last engaged in a scene.
— Dopamine allows a person in either space to feel satisfied and motivated. For both Dominant and submissive people, dopamine can provide the extra energy and effort needed to maintain a longer play scene.
— Cortisol is released for a submissive while they are in subspace. Typically, cortisol is related to that ‘fight or flight’ instinct humans naturally have when they sense danger. In a sexual situation, however, when the hormone is present during a time of relaxation or arousal, it has the opposite effect. Here, cortisol can actually push you deeper into the trance-like state that is subspace.
— Oxytocin is released during sex on both sides. This is known as the ‘love hormone’ and is associated with the warm, fuzzy, affectionate feelings often felt during and after sex.
The science behind these altered states of consciousness (ASCs) is fascinating.
According to this study, there is a direct link between BDSM play scenes and altered states of consciousness. One of the most interesting findings in this study is that engaging in a submissive role during BDSM play can lead to something called transient hypofrontality. This is when the thought-processing part of the brain is ‘shut off’ by external triggers. This occurrence has also been reported in people with addictions. The ability to ‘shut off’ your own thoughts can actually cause ‘involuntary’ cravings for this feeling.
The sudden shift out of these alternate states of consciousness can be particularly difficult.
Commonly referred to as ‘Dom drop’, a dominant person can experience a massive shift in their energy once a scene is finished. This can lead to feelings of guilt and overthinking, especially if things in the scene involved things they normally wouldn’t do to a partner (impact play, verbal degradation, etc.).
Similarly, ‘sub drop’ is something that can happen to a submissive individual after a scene. This can include feelings of loneliness, slight confusion and a deep need for physical affection. These sudden mood shifts are why it’s incredibly important for BDSM practitioners to engage in aftercare. ‘Aftercare’ is the time and attention partners give to each other after an intense sexual experience. Common forms of aftercare include physical touch (cuddling), verbal reassurances (letting them know you were happy and satisfied) and nourishment (drinking water or eating food).
BDSM can be beneficial in many ways when practiced safely and with good intent.
For many people who indulge in BDSM practices, it’s a coping mechanism or a stress-release outlet as much as it is something they enjoy doing. For some, it’s a very large part of their sexual identity and for others it’s simply something they enjoy in the bedroom. It can be incredibly personal, and kink can be really customizable when you’re with the right partner.
Submissive individuals can experience a trance-like states of relaxation and stress-release. Dominant individuals can experience a focus-driven, feel-good high that allows them to feel confident. Engaging in and playing in these spaces with other BDSM practitioners can be an incredibly rewarding and fun experience.
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