Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the butt plug…

If exploring anal sex or penetration with a partner feels daunting, try it out on your own with this beginner’s guide on how to clean for, get started and enjoy anal play for one.

How to Start Out with Solo Anal Play and Anal Masturbation

The Ins And Outs Of Anal Play For One

The very first sex toy I ever owned was a 

 prostate massager, won completely by chance in a raffle after some sexual health event at my university. To this day, I distinctly remember how my elation at winning the prize quickly transitioned to apprehension when I actually unpacked the thing whose bulbous black girth and strange balled appendages looked more like an alien lifeform than something I was supposed to voluntarily stick up my butt.

, but in practice… I had no idea where to even begin. A few half-hearted and unsuccessful insertion attempts later, my shiny new toy was consigned to the purgatory of a shoebox where it lurked unused for years on end. It wasn’t until an adventurous girlfriend pulled an 

 and opened my eyes (and anus) to the wonders of the prostate that my prodigal stimulator finally achieved its true purpose.

For a lot of people (myself included), the biggest barrier to enjoying anal play is an understandable concern over hygiene. After all, no one wants to deal with a crapload of, well, crap in the bedroom, so it’s very important to get your business 

Generally speaking, maintaining a healthy and 

 is quite beneficial in this regard, but even the most vegetable-averse among us would do well to 

before sitting down for some solo anal love. In most cases, just make sure to go to the bathroom and/or wash up (with soap!) a little bit beforehand and you’ll probably be fine.

In most cases, just make sure to go to the bathroom and/or wash up (with soap!) a little bit beforehand and you’ll probably be fine.

For those who want to get extra clean, though, there are a variety of 

 and enema products available—even a water bottle can work in a pinch—that all operate on the same principle: fill a container with some clean, warm water and flush your rectum a few times for about five seconds a pop, till everything comes out clear and odor-free. If you’re particularly keen, you can even get a special shower nozzle for the same purpose; just make sure you don’t use it too long or you’re gonna have a bad time…

Lastly, keep in mind that it’s just poo, it’s not gonna kill you. Put a towel down and/or wear (dark-colored) gloves if you’re worried about making a mess, and you're more than ready to start exploring your nether regions.

Looking back, my early failure at anal masturbation was primarily due to one thing: going too big, too fast. It takes a lot of time to warm up to anal play, especially as a newbie, and I essentially jumped into the deep end without first learning to swim. Just as foreplay is important for good sex, so too is warming up your asshole for the pleasures to come. The first step, then, is to 

Once you’re all hot and bothered, you can begin delving into the exciting world of ass-spelunking! Make sure to start off very slowly, initially using just your hands to give yourself an 

 your sphincter with different patterns and fingers while simply appreciating the sensations. Use the opportunity to 

, what feels good and what doesn’t. Some people even like to get a mirror so they can stare into the abyss, so if that floats your boat more power to you!

 your sphincter with different patterns and fingers while simply appreciating the sensations.

 (water-based or silicone, whatever works for you 

 and use more lube if this feels at all painful; if you’re still having trouble, it can be helpful to 

 and flex your pelvic floor as if you were going to the bathroom. Once inside, slowly feel around, like earlier, basking in the different feelings and, if you have one, trying to find your “

” (some 7-10 cm inside, towards the base of the penis).

With practice and training, the whole process should get easier, and before long you’ll be ready to start experimenting with toys. From butt plugs to anal beads, such toys come in all 

). Whatever toy you do use, make sure it has a 

, or else you may find yourself having a very uncomfortable conversation with your doctor.

The final step to getting into anal play is to ensure you’re in the right headspace to fully enjoy the novel sexual practice. Like trying anything new, there are bound to be a few nerves (and nerve endings) when playing with your anus for the first time. Hey, there’s even a (w)hole Freudian developmental 

 devoted to the damn thing, so it makes sense if you have a few hang-ups.

One of the things stopping a lot of heterosexual men from experimenting with receptive anal is the 

 that it’s somehow ‘gay’ or ‘feminine’ to put something in your ass, an idea that is (frankly) horse shit. Hell, a majority of gay sex is 

, and there are plenty of powerful straight 

ured that anal play is a completely normal, perfectly masculine pastime.

Secondly, a lot of people find anal penetration to be uncomfortable or even painful at first. While this can be ameliorated by trying different angles or other toys, make sure to 

! Numbing creams like Diltiazem ointment can be deceptively effective, but risk obscuring possible injury so can’t be fully recommended. At the end of the day, listen to your own body, and allow yourself to stop if you’re not feeling it; you can always take a break and try again later. There’s no pressure other than what you put on yourself (no pun intended)!