Explore what a praise kink is and how to embrace it in sex.

Wondering what a praise kink is? Discover its meaning, common praise kink phrases, the dynamics of praise kinks, and where to explore praise kink porn.

Praise Kink 101: What is a Praise Kink, Benefits, & How to Embrace It

So, You Think You Have A Praise Kink?

Have you seen the term “praise kink” come across your social media recently and found yourself wondering if you might have a praise kink?

The topic of praise kinks has taken over social media platforms recently, with the hashtags #praisekink and #praiseknk having over 200 million video views on TikTok respectively, and memes about praise kinks filling our Instagram and X feeds. Many users have expressed that social media has helped them realize their praise kinks. They’re even sharing stories about how they’re integrating their praise kinks into their relationships and existing kink dynamics. 

It’s something many of us can relate to, that warm feeling that comes with receiving praise from a lover. For many people, it’s an introduction to the world of kink that feels accessible and less intimidating than other 

Have you ever wondered why hearing “good girl” directed toward you makes your toes curl, even though you might not consider yourself particularly kinky?

 as an example of how the sexual excitement of being praised can open our eyes to an entire world of kink and pleasure we might never have previously considered for ourselves. 

But everyone needs love, you might be thinking, and you’d be right. 

So what then, separates a praise kink from a general human need for affection? What makes a kink a kink? 

Pretty much exactly as it sounds, a praise kink refers to anyone who gets off from being praised. 

Kink has been defined as “consensual, non-traditional sexual, sensual, and intimate behaviors such as sadomasochism, domination and submission, erotic roleplaying, fetishism, and erotic forms of discipline,” by psychological researcher Samuel Hughes 

To consider an interest or behavior as a kink then, is to recognize the sexual, sensual, or intimate nature of the act and how it exists outside of traditional sexual narratives. 

For people with praise kinks, sexual arousal is heightened when a partner or partners praise them before, during, and/or after sex, as well as in other situations throughout the day both inside and outside of the bedroom. Being told how good they are, how beautiful they are, and other forms of directed compliments add to their arousal, and for some, it’s necessary for them to be able to experience sexual desire. 

In practice, offering praise kink phrases such as “you’re such a good boy,” “you’re doing such a good job,” or “you look so good when you do that to me,” to someone with a praise kink will ignite that spark of desire that has them wanting to be even better for their lover(s). 

Praise kink dynamics can be woven into many different D/S dynamics, such as “mommy or daddy play,” but this doesn’t mean that praise kinks necessarily have any direct links to the level of verbal affection received in the rest of their lives or during childhood. 

You might be wondering, “Doesn’t everyone want to feel good during sex?” and you’re not wrong. Most of us want to know that we’re doing a good job during sex, but not everyone finds sexual excitement in being explicitly told these things as part of the sexual experience. 

So how do you know if it’s a praise kink, or if you’re just seeking basic human affection?

We all need love and affection, and many of us welcome a compliment or a reminder of how good at something we are, so for many of us the concept of a praise kink feels extremely relatable. 

But if you feel good, or warm and fuzzy, after receiving a compliment on your outfit or your make-up that day, does that mean you have a praise kink?

The difference between having a praise kink and being a human who needs affection is in the sexual nature of the praise and how it brings about a sexual and/or erotic excitement and response in the recipient. 

We all respond well to compliments, but for it to be a praise kink, there will be some level of eroticism that comes with receiving praise, and it’s often given in the specific context of a sexual experience or relationship.

This is why praise kinks often come with some form of D/S dynamic because there are often (not always) very clear roles assigned when a praise kink is being fulfilled and the receiver of the praise is usually the more submissive. 

, “When we think of submission, we often think of a humiliation or 

 kink. But it’s just as kinky to submit to a sense of overwhelming affirmation, even a kind of worship, during sexual activities.”

Going back to the above example, if a partner compliments your outfit or your make-up and you notice it’s actually turning you on, you might consider exploring this more in a sexual context. 

If you’ve noticed some erotic charge or body tingles when hearing how good, pretty, sweet, or any other yummy thing you are, it might be worth exploring. You could consider playing with embracing a praise kink dynamic in the bedroom.

Many of us struggle to be super up-front with what we want during sex, and to ask our partners to compliment us more might feel like an awkward ask. 

Calling something a kink however, can be a beautiful way of permissioning ourselves to ask for what we need during sex, reframing our ask from something that feels “silly” in our heads to say out loud, into something we know is a shared experience that can be backed and validated by research, media, and thousands of romance novels dating back decades. 

There are many ways we can start embracing a praise kink once we recognize it, whether you’re new to kink or just looking for new ways to explore:

If you’re new to BDSM and kink, but you’re suspicious that you might have a praise kink, you might start to try it on by engaging in praise 

Many examples of praise kink porn offer some form of role play, but the roles are extremely diverse. 

When looking for praise kink porn, searching anything from “good girl/boy” to “mommy/daddy,” “slave,” “worship,” “praise,” “pet,” “submissive,” “BDSM,” and many more specific kink–based terms will align you with content that offers praise kink dynamics. You’re looking for something that has an element of submission that’s about worshipping and praising the sub rather than 

, punishment, humiliation, etc. An example of this might be a teacher/student dynamic, where the student is being praised for good grades rather than punished for bad behavior. Both are kinky in their own way, it just depends on what you’re looking for. 

There are also often elements of praise in more vanilla porn dynamics, such as “girlfriend/boyfriend,” “wife/spouse,” “sensual,” “romantic,” and other non-kink-based categories because usually, these more romance-based scenarios are appealing for the mutual affection they offer. These differ from praise kink because the participants aren’t stepping into definable roles, however, these types of scenarios might feel more approachable if you’re new to the world of kink and want to start somewhere softer.

Whatever type of porn you choose to explore your praise kink, notice how it feels in your body when praise is given. Notice the sensations, the specific moments when you feel a tingle or heat rise in your body, and pay attention to how the words and actions of the people on screen are affecting you. What phrases are exciting for you to hear? What specific words? Get specific, take notes, and embrace all that feels good with a non-judgemental attitude toward yourself. 

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Another way you can embrace your praise kink is to start adopting some praise kink-affirming phrases into your dirty talk vocabulary. 

There are infinite amounts of ways we can praise our partners, but here are some of the most common:

"I can’t stop thinking about your *insert body part*"

"You look so good in this *insert clothing item*"

"I love the way you *insert sexy thing they do*"

"It drives me wild when you *insert sexy thing they do*"

"Cum for me baby, I want to hear you scream"

"You’re mommy/daddy’s good girl/boy/pet"

"Your *insert body part* feels so good to me"

"Who’s my perfect girl/boy/slut/whore/pet?"

A praise kink can also be embraced as a form of foreplay, as a way of building sexual desire and anticipation long before sex has begun. 

If you know your partner, or you, have a praise kink, you can start switching them on by offering them praise in non-sexual situations throughout the day. This can look like: 

Complimenting their outfit and letting them know how crazy it’s driving you 

Sending sexy texts about how you’re thinking about them

Telling them how good they are at things they do

Telling them they’re perfect, sweet, lovely, beautiful, etc 

Complimenting them in front of friends/in public

Whispering how good they look in their ear at a function

Telling them what you love about their body

Any moment that feels like an opportunity to offer some praise throughout the day can be an opportunity for foreplay if you’re switched on to it. Once you look at all opportunities for praise as an erotic invitation, imagine how spicy your life can truly get!

Debunking Common Myths About Praise Kinks

So now that we’ve gotten clear on what a praise kink is, let’s bust some myths about what a praise kink isn’t. 

Perhaps equally popular to praise kinks on social media, is the concept of Love Languages. 

 with his book of this title in 1992, and it has since become one of the most popular relationship therapy concepts circulated on social media. Of the 5 Love Languages, one of them is referred to as words of affirmation, pointing to the fact that many people use verbal affection as their primary way of giving and receiving love. 

It’s important to differentiate between a praise kink from “words of affirmation” as a love language. 

While both refer to verbal affection toward a partner, it’s important to emphasize that love, romance, or partnership does not have to be present to act on a kink, and simultaneously, a love language is not a kink. A love language is a way of expressing love and is neither inherently sexual in nature nor taboo or outside of the norm in the way of a kink. 

A Praise Kink Is Not a Result of Childhood Neglect

Though praise kinks are often present in mommy/daddy BDSM dynamics, and there has been much social media content lightheartedly implying a correlation between not receiving affection as a child and having a praise kink as an adult, there has yet to be any formal, solid research pointing to praise kinks coming from any specific childhood experience. 

There are many correlations between those who are service-oriented and strive toward perfection in other areas of life, and those who have praise kinks, and there are also many people who have praise kinks that received lots of verbal affection from caregivers as children. There are not any clear indications from childhood experience to developing praise kinks known at this time. 

If you have a praise kink you must be into wild sex

While there are many people with praise kinks who are into more advanced or intense forms of kink and BDSM, having a praise kink does not mean you’re also inherently into any other form of play. 

Praise kinks can absolutely be paired with other kinks and forms of play, such as impact play, 

, fetish, etc, but they can also exist on their own and be satisfied completely within more vanilla-oriented sexual experiences. 