Ms Blah Monthly Horoscope

Category: Horoscopes

                                                

MARCH - 2019

                                   

ARIES Mar 21-Apr19


Your sign belongs to Fire and it’s your duty to keep your inner flame alive to warm others until winter is over.
Don’t play hard to get.


                                   

 


TAURUS Apr 20-May21


Beware of Mercury Retrograde at the beginning of the month but not as much as to cancel a weekend in a spa resort with thermal circuit in Switzerland, for two of course.

                                   




GEMINI May 21-Jun20


Some times you are afraid of humans, however humans made Pizza or invented the Internet. 
Humanity can be cruel but pizza is always tasty and creamy and sometimes crispy in the edge.




CANCER Jun 21-Jul22


Uranus is not in your house this month but you can go to Uranus and pay a visit every time you want. 
Take it slowly, it’s a long journey.


                




LEO Jul 23-Aug22


Your wild nature is starting to shake with the breeze scented by springtime.

However, maybe this time you’re not going to be the hunter but the prey, my dear.
Save energy.

    



VIRGO Aug 23-Sep22


You will ask for a coffee to a stranger. The stranger will serve it to you.
You’ll pay with a bill and wait for the change. Thank you. Have a nice day. Bye.




LIBRA sep 23-oct22


Winter is ending. Please, make the promise of not wearing that boots again next year.
They are so worn out you could make a pair of sandals for the summer.



    

SCORPIO Oct 23-Nov21


You, the one that can see the unseen, please find the panties I left in your home last night.
They’re kind of expensive.





SAGITTARIUS Nov 22-Dec21


Have you realized that you may have been conceived during March madness? 
Don’t make the same mistake. Use protection.





CAPRICORN Dec 22-Jan19


Pisces season enhances your sensitiveness. That is concentrated in your lips and the very tip of your fingers. 

You can be suddenly horny drinking from a glass or typing. Be careful at the office.

    




AQUARIUS Jan 20-Feb18


Planets and stars have no effect on you this month. It’s like you had a cosmic diamond shield protecting you

while you’re riding a unicorn over a marshmallow rainbow.

   




PISCES Feb 19-March20


Feel all the power of your sign in its season. 
You will sprout the springtime with your sensual sexiness. 
Are you sure the climate change is not because you’re too hot?

    

Author: Maria Blah

MARCH 2019

ARIES Mar21 - Apr19

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Your sign belongs to Fire and it’s your duty to keep your inner flame alive to warm others until winter is over. Don’t play hard to get.

TAURUS Apr20 - May21

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Beware of Mercury Retrograde at the beginning of the month but not as much as to cancel a weekend in a spa resort with thermal circuit in Switzerland, for two of course.

GEMINI May21 - Jun20

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Some times you are afraid of humans, however humans made Pizza or invented the Internet. Humanity can be cruel but pizza is always tasty and creamy and sometimes crispy in the edge.

CANCER Jun21 - Jul22

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Uranus is not in your house this month but you can go to Uranus and pay a visit every time you want. Take it slowly, it’s a long journey.

LEO Jul23 - Aug22

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Your wild nature is starting to shake with the breeze scented by springtime. However, maybe this time you’re not going to be the hunter but the prey, my dear. Save energy.

VIRGO Aug23 - Sep22

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You will ask for a coffee to a stranger. The stranger will serve it to you. You’ll pay with a bill and wait for the change. Thank you. Have a nice day. Bye.

LIBRA Sep23 - Oct22

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Winter is ending. Please, make the promise of not wearing that boots again next year. They are so worn out you could make a pair of sandals for the summer.

SCORPIO Oct23 - Nov21

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You, the one that can see the unseen, please find the panties I left in your home last night. They’re kind of expensive.

SAGITTARIUS Nov22 - Dec21

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Have you realized that you may have been conceived during March madness? Don’t make the same mistake. Use protection.

CAPRICORN Dec22 - Jan19

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Pisces season enhances your sensitiveness. That is concentrated in your lips and the very tip of your fingers. You can be suddenly horny drinking from a glass or typing. Be careful at the office.

AQUARIUS Jan20 - Feb18

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Planets and stars have no effect on you this month. It’s like you had a cosmic diamond shield protecting you while you’re riding a unicorn over a marshmallow rainbow.

PISCES Feb19 - March20

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Feel all the power of your sign in its season. You will sprout the springtime with your sensual sexiness. Are you sure the climate change is not because you’re too hot?

Podcast Transcript: