FemDom breaks stereotypes and deepens relationships through creative play and pleasure. Watch how Lustery couple Dana & Kuka include the practice into their sex life. 

How We FemDom with Lustery couple Dana & Kuka

"How We Femdom," with Dana & Kuka

 or relationship in which a female-identifying person is the 

 partner or top partner.” This dynamic can range from a single sexual encounter called a “scene” to an entire relationship. For the purpose of this article, I’ll focus on a FemDom scene.

When I’m in a FemDom role, I become elated from the sense of power and control I have.

I enjoy calling the shots. I feel not only powerful but 

powered, and so very embodied. I get to say more than “yes” or “no,” which shatters the all-too-common role women tend to get shoved into in heterosexual sex.

I feel safe as a FemDom because I control what happens, when, and at what intensity. The control I get over pacing and rhythm may be the biggest turn-on for me. I find myself being able to deeply tune into my submissive partner, and, as he gets aroused, I get aroused.

"Perhaps it’s my retaliation against the assumption that sex is finished after the man comes..."

On the other hand, men are generally socialized to be sexual initiators and expected to call the shots, but some men simply don’t enjoy playing that role all the time, or even at all. Kuka, the male submissive in this 

 reflects, “One of the great things about FemDom is that it kind of changes some stereotypes.” (3:40)

According to one articulate man on Quora, he “prefers to be guided,” “likes helping people” and appreciates that it “affords [him] a safety valve.” FemDom scenarios can free men from gender expectations as well, giving them the opportunity to surrender to something different.

In order to create a safe space, t’s important to identify what you desire or 

 to try, and what boundaries or hard no’s you have. This process can look many different ways, but it generally begins with self-exploration and then a conversation with your partner. The process in itself can be very connective in your relationship with yourself and your partner. As Dana describes in the video, “For me, the first thing is the communication with yourself.” (4:00)

One resource for identifying likes, dislikes, and curiosities is a “Yes, No, Maybe" list. Here’s a simple one that lists 

 such as “face slapping” “blindfolds” and “praise/worship”

. It gives you the option to mark “G” for giving and “R” for receiving. A tool like this can help you identify both your desires and boundaries.

“Sensory deprivation is always a good place to start,” Dana says, referring to blindfolding. This automatically gives the Dom the power of seeing while her submissive cannot. From here, she can play with different sensations that have been agreed upon before the scene, “...and he is your doll,” Dana adds, laughing.

Regarding rules, I personally love orgasm control — telling my partner (who would have consented before the scene of course) that they’re not allowed to orgasm until I say so is an incredible turn-on for me.

Perhaps it’s my retaliation against the assumption that sex is finished after the man comes. If that’s the case, 

he won’t come til I’m ready for him to.

I like to create a game out of it by increasing stimulation while continuing to order him (or, in 

This brings me to the end of the scene. Before the scene, both partners should have spent some time reflecting on what they would like after a scene and shared this with each other. This is called “aftercare.” Some want to cuddle, talk, or otherwise connect with their partner immediately after, while others may prefer time to themselves.

Aftercare may be the most overlooked element of physical/sexual intimacy, but it can do wonders for building trust and stronger bonds, both 

 and your relationship with your partner, especially as you experiment with new power dynamics between you.

Maybe you’ve had a longtime fantasy of playing with FemDom, or maybe you’re just interested in mixing things up. Either way, the excitement of stepping out of a tired role of passivity as a woman, or the freedom that can come from rejecting expectations to always be the one to initiate moves during sex as a man can lead to a fulfilling experience for all involved and a deeper bond with yourself and your partner.

Keep autumn kinky! Check out our special 

Dana & Kuka

For van-living Lustery adventurers Dana & Kuka, exploration and freedom are as important in their relationship as they are in their day-to-day life. Neither was looking to find love when they first connected via a dating app but fate had other plans, putting them on the road to a future together the moment they first met. These days, that road is pretty literal too, as the nomadic lovers explore their sexuality and the world together. It’s the perfect recipe for new experiences and, of course, public sex. They list the beach, the car, in the street, in bars, in restaurant toilets, fitting rooms, an IKEA showroom, the side of the road, outside the van, in the forest and abandoned houses as just a few of the places where they’ve managed to have sex.

Dana

Kuka

Watch Lustery couple and public sex fans Dana & Kuka on a journey of discovery – in life and definitely in lust. Now on Lustery.

Age	27 & 31
Type	life-partners
Location	Nomadic, Spain
Sex life	Exploring

"How We Femdom," with Dana & Kuka

Couple Info

Dana & Kuka