Watch Dirty Talk Examples With Asteria & Ulysses

https://lustery.com/video/series/how-we/how-we-dirty-talk

Dirty talk can be intimidating for beginners who don’t know what they should say or how. This guide will help you get over your inhibitions and learn how to talk dirty during sex.

The ultimate guide on how to talk dirty during sex with dirty talk examples from real-life couples. 

A Guide on How to Talk Dirty in Bed for Beginners

How to Talk Dirty

Dirty talk, when done right, adds spice to your sex life. Unfortunately, the opposite is also true - nothing can kill the mood quite as quickly as saying or being told something off-putting during sex. More often, people struggle to know what to say, choosing to remain quiet rather than taking a risk. This guide will look at overcoming your inhibitions and give tips on how to talk dirty and dirty talk examples to try with your sweeties. 

I’m sure most of you have had the experience of saying something dirty that you didn’t fully believe in, and it turned into a joke rather than arousing your partner. Becoming an expert word pervert requires confidence above all else. If you don’t believe what you’re saying, your partner probably won’t either. Even if you keep your dirty talk relatively simple, delivery is key. 

Put your embarrassment to the side; you’ll get better with practice!

"I love the sound you make when I kiss there."

"I've been thinking about how good you taste all day."

"Your skin is so soft; I want to kiss every inch of it."

"The way you move your hips is so sexy; don't stop."

Keep in mind that dirty talk doesn’t start and stop in the bedroom. Flirting with your partner helps to increase the sexual tension and will lubricate you for talking dirty once you’re naked. People in long-term relationships often want to try dirty talk to bring back a spark but then feel awkward when it’s showtime. Back up a few steps and start the process while you’re on a date. A dirty text message while you’re at work, a naughty whisper at dinner, or simply letting your partner know how horny you are can set the mood and make it easier to continue when you’re in the moment. 

Make a habit of flirting with your partner no matter how long you’ve been together. 

Pay attention to what they like in bed so you can use it to seduce them.

Keep them guessing; don’t repeat the same thing each time. 

"You have no idea how badly I want to rip your clothes off right now."

"I can't stop thinking about how good you'd feel against me."

"I want to feel your mouth exploring every inch of me."

"I've been naughty today... I think I deserve to be punished."

"I've been thinking about when you _______. It was so fucking hot. It's making me wet/hard."

Getting out of your head is simpler said than done. And while “fake it ‘til you make it” might work for some, it’s not particularly helpful for chronic over-thinkers. In the long run, what’s more important is to understand what style and tone you want to use that works with your desires and your partner’s. Are you someone who likes to give orders? Who is a master seducer? Who dishes out praise? Or perhaps you’re bratty in bed. Understanding the type of dirty talk that feels most natural for you will help you feel more confident in knowing how to talk dirty in your delivery. It may take some time before you figure out what works, but don’t be afraid to return to lines that worked in the past and build from there.

Think about what turns you and your partner on. 

If something feels wrong, try something different.

Like all sex skills, your dirty talk will improve the more you do it. If you’ve never had luck with dirty talk or don’t know what to say, start with easy phrases that describe what you like and don’t. “That feels good”, and “Keep going, just like that” are the universal gateways to dirty talk. These phrases provide helpful feedback for your partner to understand better what works, so be genuine. If something isn’t working for you, don’t tell your partner to do more of it! Conversely, you can ask your partner, “Do you like that?” Once you’ve mastered these basics, you can use descriptive phrases to help paint a picture of what you are about to do. 

Prepare a few go-to phrases that you feel comfortable saying.

Pay attention to how your partner reacts to you. Are there specific sentences that drive them crazy?

If you’re playing an active role, limit the number of open-ended questions you ask. Many people freeze up when asked, “What do you want next?” or things to that effect because the question feels broad. Further, that phrasing misses a crucial opportunity to paint a dirty picture for your partner. Instead, try giving them some options. If you’re feeling more confident, this is where you can add some explicit details.

As we mentioned earlier, figuring out the style of dirty talk that feels natural for you is important. However, many people tend to overdo it when they feel uncomfortable, trying on and 

roleplaying ridiculously over-the-top characters

. If that’s fun for you and your partner, by all means, go for it. But when I discuss tone, what I mean is giving voice to our sexual selves. There’s a good chance you don’t have a clear idea of what tone feels normal for you, so this is a good time to experiment. If you try talking about your likes but find it too boring, maybe try giving your partner instructions or praise. There are endless ways to frame the same statement simply by modifying the contextual tone. 

Dirty Talk Examples: Capturing Your Tone 

You can say “I like it when you lick my nipples,” but you can also rephrase it as “Keep looking at me while you lick my nipples.” Or “I’m getting so wet from you licking my nipples.” Your turn, come up with some more phrases that you would turn on your partner!

If you’re into D/s dynamics, you can use dirty talk to reinforce your position. You can take the 

 if you’ve never explored kink dynamics but are curious. Make sure you discuss with your partner ahead of time if you want to try certain personas or moods that might be more sensitive like humiliation/ degradation or age regression. Remember, you will want to establish safer play practices like safe words (or the stoplight system) and aftercare rituals during these discussions.

Dirty talk can be integral to setting up D/s dynamics, practice speaking from your power position.

Make sure you know your partners' as well as your limits.

Have check-ins after to make adjustments to your scenes.

What Language Do You Choose for Genitalia?

My guess is you probably don’t want to use the term “genitals” within the context of sexy time. So what works for you? What words best fit your partner? Some people don’t like to use profanity so saying “cunt” might feel awkward or unnatural, while others think “pussy” is too cutesy. We all have our preferences and it’s nice to understand what words people do and don’t like ahead of time. Trans people especially may have gender-affirming preferences that may not necessarily correspond to their anatomy. While we’re discussing words for genitals, the same applies to other body parts and physical attributes.

Rule out words for genitals and body parts that you and your partner don’t like.

If your partner is queer, ask them what descriptive language feels affirming.

Think about which words you like for yourself and let your partner know if you have strong preferences.

One of the common themes in dirty talk is praise. And hands down the most overused phrase is “good girl”. While that may get some of you off, for others it signals an exhausting lack of creativity and effort - a real turn-off. Instead, try some phrases that affirm your partner’s skills or qualities. Many of us rarely get the recognition we deserve in everyday life and sexual praise can nourish that appetite. Don’t be afraid to get specific with your praise and communicate your appreciation. 

Good praise is rooted in attention to detail and noticing what your partner is doing. 

Offer up genuine compliments that reinforce what you enjoy. 

No one is better at dirty talk than erotica writers. If you want to learn how to arouse your partner with words, pick up some quality smut! I love 

 Unlike some cheesy romance novels, they write queer, kinky erotica that plays with deep psychological dynamics. Plus, they have a truly masterful way with words. Additionally, you can listen to some of Lustery’s erotica to hear how others speak dirty phrases out loud. Some of my favorites include Cleanup on Aisle Five and Insomnia Cure. 

Pick up some dirty books and highlight phrases that stand out.

Notice what type of character you’re drawn to and how they communicate.

Listen to audio erotica and pay attention to the delivery.

Asteria & Ulysses

Ulysses and Asteria are High School Sweethearts and have been together ever since they met in Woodshop class 8 years ago. From that day they graduated to friends, to ‘more than friends’, and then to lovers. Today they take another step, to Lustery Lovers! Asteria likes being spanked and choked and Ulysses likes spanking and choking Asteria. Perfect right!? They both like going on outdoor adventures, travelling…


Asteria

Ulysses

Asteria likes being spanked and choked and Ulysses likes spanking and choking Asteria. Perfect right!? They both like going on outdoor adventures, travelling…

Age	22 & 22
Type	closed-relationship
Location	Canada
Sex life	Cozy

How to Talk Dirty

Couple Info

Asteria & Ulysses