Watch anal sex porn with NoName & Tabby on Lustery now!

Here's how to prep for anal sex and have the best time possible.

The ultimate prep guide for anal sex so you can have the best time ever.

How to Prep for Anal Sex: Tips for Preparation and Partner Communication

How to Prep for Anal Sex and Talk About It With Your Partner

Anal sex can bring up lots of feelings  — so if you’re wondering how to prep for anal sex, the first step is talking about it. Some people are turned on by the sensations, visuals, or taboos surrounding anal sex. Others may have hygiene concerns or be worried about what having anal sex means about them.

Whatever someone’s stance on anal sex is, it’s important to have open communication with your partner. The more you discuss what you do and don’t want, the clearer you’ll become about 

 and what you’d like to try with a partner, as well as how you’d like to do it. So, here are a few tips on introducing yourself and your partner to anal sex and having productive conversations about it. 

Before having first-time anal sex, it’s important to get to know how your body responds to anal stimulation. Exploring anal play with your own hands and toys is a great way to learn what you would like during partnered anal sex.

You can begin by inserting a lubed-up finger into your anus, then a butt plug. 

 suggests silicone lube if you’re not using toys since it’s long-lasting, but if you use any silicone toys, enlist another type of lube such as a water-based lube because silicone lube breaks down silicone toys. Avoid oil-based lube if you’re using condoms because it can degrade the material.

“You want to use lots of lube,” says psychotherapist and sex therapist 

. “Lube is necessary because the anus does not produce enough lubrication. It also reduces friction. Therefore, it reduces your risk of injury.”

Phillips recommends starting with a small butt plug, then a medium one, then a large one. “Glass butt plugs are the best for this because they are slick from the lube, and you can warm them up — and this relaxes the sphincter muscle,” he says. “The goal is to stretch the sphincter muscle before sex.” The 

 is another option for working your way up gradually.

You can also watch anal sex porn to get ideas for what you’d like to try. Check out Lustery’s library of 

 for inspiration. You can also read books like Tristan Taormino’s 

Talking to a sex therapist, educator, or coach is also a great way to get information to prepare yourself for anal sex, says Phillips. Don’t take what you see in porn at face value. 

“While there’s nothing wrong with watching ethical porn, it’s important to remember that porn is not sex education,” says Dr. Nazanin Moali, sex therapist and host of the 

. “Many people watch heavily edited porn and mistakenly believe penetration is possible without proper preparation.” Watching real couples have sex on sites like Lustery can be an alternative to the more performative porn you may see on tube sites.

If you’re feeling shy about discussing anal sex with a partner, you can make it part of a larger conversation about how to spice up your sex life. “Keep it light and open-ended so your partner feels comfortable responding honestly,” says Howard. She suggests saying something like: "I’ve been thinking about ways we could explore more intimacy and connection, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on trying anal play."

Another script you can use is: “I’ve been curious about anal sex and wanted to share that with you. How do you feel about exploring something like that together?” Howard explains: “This shows you’re inviting them into the discussion instead of handing them a checklist of demands. If they’re hesitant, honor their feelings and offer to explore why together.”

To make the conversation go better, you can also share what you appreciate about your sex life already. Phillips recommends starting with a phrase like “One thing you do that I particularly appreciate in our sexual life is…,” “What I appreciate about being able to discuss intimacy and sexuality with you is…,” or “sex is fun for me, and one new thing I would like to try is…”

What’s more important than the exact words you say is the tone of the conversation. “If you come in curious and open, it creates a safe space for your partner to share their thoughts, too,” says Howard. “Let them know there’s no pressure, and keep the focus on exploring together. If they’re not into it, respect that boundary and explore other ways to deepen intimacy.”

One more tip: “Frame it as a shared exploration rather than a personal request,” says Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, a California State University, Fullerton professor, author of 

 podcast. “Say something like ‘I want us to keep our intimacy exciting and wonder if this is something you'd like to try together.’ Reassure them that it’s OK if they’re not interested. This will help create a safe space for honesty.”

It’s also really important to have a conversation about STIs before you’re planning to have anal sex with a partner. “Anal sex has a high risk of transmitting STIs because the rectum is very delicate,” says Howard. “Conversations about safer sex should include condom use (even if you’re in a monogamous relationship), as well as discussing and viewing STI testing history. If toys are involved, use condoms over them and change condoms or clean toys between uses to avoid bacteria transfer.”

Dental dams can be useful for preventing STIs during anal rimming, Phillips adds. Lube is also important for preventing tears, which reduces the risk of STIs. If you have more than one partner, he recommends getting an STI test every three months.

If you are moving from anal sex to oral or vaginal sex, you’ll want to know 

. Make sure to change condoms or clean the penis or dildo thoroughly to avoid transferring bacteria from the anus to other parts of the body, says Suwinyattichaiporn. 

Consent is also crucial to discuss before — and during — anal sex to ensure that everyone is comfortable throughout the experience. “Consent isn’t a one-and-done deal; it’s an ongoing dialogue,” Howard points out. 

“Talk openly about what’s a ‘yes,’ what’s a ‘maybe,’ and what’s an absolute ‘no’ for both of you,” she suggests. “Be specific, and don’t assume. Ask questions like, ‘Would you like me to go slower here?’ or ‘Are you okay if we stop at any time?’ Normalizing check-ins during the experience keeps everyone feeling safe and respected.”

Anal sex does not have to mean penetration with a penis. It does not have to mean penetration at all. 

“Anal play includes external stimulation like gentle massaging of the anus, rimming (oral stimulation), or using anal-friendly toys such as plugs or beads,” says Howard. “Penetration, whether with fingers, toys, or a penis, is another level. For beginners, I’d recommend starting slow, maybe with external play or a small, smooth anal plug.”

One beginner-friendly place to start is to have one partner massage the other’s anus with their hands, says Phillips. “Then, move on to toys. Butt plugs are great because of their versatility and various designs. Glass butt plugs are great because you can get into temperature play, and they are easier to clean. Starting slow allows the sphincter muscle to relax.”

Keep in mind that anal sex does not have to and should not involve pain. Pain is avoidable “if you’re relaxed, use plenty of lube, and go slow,” says Howard. Before any anal penetration, engage in lots of foreplay such as kissing, caressing, oral sex, and manual stimulation.

“If you're experiencing pain, it’s important to slow down and focus on proper preparation,” says Moali. “If pain persists despite these adjustments, it’s a good idea to see a doctor, as conditions like hemorrhoids or other treatable medical issues might be the cause.”

“You want to relax your body,” Phillips adds. “Remember, your sphincter muscle is a muscle! If you get tense and clench, the muscle can tighten and make anal sex painful.” One way to make sure you’re relaxed is to take a bath or meditate before attempting anal play, according to Moali.

Also, be prepared that “when the rectum is being stimulated, it can feel like you will have a bowel movement,” says Phillips. “This is common, so relax. Deep breaths and going slow will help. Once you get used to it, it can bring you incredible pleasure.”

To avoid concerns around hygiene, Phillips recommends avoiding any large meals or spicy foods right before anal sex. Some people will also use an anal douche for preparation.

”Douching can clean out the rectum, and people report they feel clean, which can be a pleasurable experience,” says Phillips. “You can buy small douches on Amazon or a large one that you can place in your shower. However, some people prefer to scrub their rectum in the shower before anal sex.”

Some people have the impression that anal sex is only for the pleasure of the penetrator, but anal sex can feel good to all involved for a variety of reasons. “Anal sex can be pleasurable because of the high concentration of nerve endings around the anus, which can create intense sensations,” says Howard.

“Both men and women can find pleasure in the novel sensations of anal sex,” agrees Suwinyattichaiporn. “The most common misconceptions around anal sex are that it’s inherently painful, ‘dirty,’ or exclusively tied to specific sexual orientations.”

Those with penises often enjoy receiving anal penetration because it stimulates the prostate — an internal gland that produces one of the fluids in semen. “For men, it’s the stimulation of the prostate (located a few inches inside the rectum) that can feel good,” says Suwinyattichaiporn. 

Some describe the prostate as the “male G-spot” because it can lead to “heightened pleasure and even mind-blowing orgasms,” Howard adds. There is a common misconception that enjoying anal sex makes a man gay, but this type of stimulation is pleasurable for men of many sexual orientations, says Moali.

Anal sex can also be for the pleasure of someone with a vulva. “For women, the rectal area has a ton of nerve endings, and indirect stimulation of the vaginal wall adds to the sensation,” according to Suwinyattichaiporn. Anal stimulation might also stimulate the 

 say that anal stimulation makes their orgasms more intense, and 

 whose last sexual encounter involved anal sex orgasmed.

Like any kind of sex, anal sex can be explored in several different positions. “Doggy style, or entry from behind, is one of the most popular anal positions,” says Moali. “It allows the receiver to feel more in control while making it easier to adjust the pace and pressure.”

It’s also possible to have anal sex in the missionary position. “The person doing the penetration is on top, while the receiver lies below,” says Moali. “Missionary allows for direct eye contact, creating a more intimate connection between partners.”

In addition, anal sex can be done in “cowgirl” with the bottom on top. “Cowgirl is a great position because the bottom can control the speed and depth of penetration while riding the top,” says Phillips.

The spooning position is also a good choice. “Spooning is a beginner-friendly position because it allows both partners to relax and go slow,” says Howard. “One partner lies on their side while the other spoons them from behind. This position gives the receiving partner control over the angle and depth of penetration, which is essential when starting out. Plus it’s super intimate, allowing for easy communication and a sense of closeness.”

Preferred positions can be another exciting thing to talk about before you even reach the bedroom. “Anal sex can mean different things to different people, so sharing what aspect interests you the most can help create clarity and understanding,” says Moali.

Tabby & NoName

Married pair Tabby & NoName met at work a decade ago and immediately formed a fast friendship. Things turned romantic a year later when their previous relationships ended and they realized that aside from working together, they just might ‘work together’. If friendship came first, then love, the next step in their evolution has been making porn (hello, Lustery!) and witnessing how it has strengthened their relationship. They have an ultra-hot sex life to document too, filled with switchy power dynamics, semi-public play and a shared adoration for eating ass.

Tabby

NoName

Lustery couple Tabby & NoName reckon making porn has strengthened their relationship. Switchy power dynamics, semi-public play, eating ass… and filming it all! 

Age	33 & 35
Type	life-partners
Location	Seattle, United States
Sex life	Goofy

How to Prep for Anal Sex and Talk About It With Your Partner

Couple Info

Tabby & NoName