Discover essential tips on how to do anal in a safe and enjoyable way.

Learn key steps on how to do anal sex in a safe and pleasurable way for everyone involved.

How to Prep for Anal Sex

How to Do Anal: Why It’s Critical to Not Go From Back to Front

Sex is not just an art, it’s also a science. That means educating ourselves about our partner's physical plumbing when considering how to do anal is a crucial part of having a happy, healthy sex life. Part of the pleasure is educating ourselves about the human body and human genitals. We are kidding ourselves if we think that we can be good sexual partners if we don’t also know how to avoid physical harm in the bedroom.  

Due to a partner that lacked knowledge on how to prepare for anal sex safely, I contracted a UTI, yeast infection, and bacterial vaginosis all from him fucking me in the butt with his penis and then directly penetrating my vagina without any cleaning in between. Vaginas or front holes are extremely delicate ecosystems that have a very fragile ph balance. If you’ve seen the yeast infection commercials, then you know that it does not take very much at all - from sex to menstruation to even just new soap - to completely fuck up this area. In addition, UTIs tend to be more of a problem for female-bodied people because our urethras are shorter than male urethras and due to the short distance from the anus to the vagina/front hole. This means even the smallest amount of E.Coli or other anal bacteria leaving that area can throw our vaginal and urinary health out of whack. And guess how long it took me to resolve this lovely UTI/yeast/BV trifecta the last time I had it? Almost two months and five doctor visits. 

This is because for many women BV is recurrent and chronic and can be extremely hard to get rid of. Over-the-counter yeast infection cream doesn’t even work for some women. I’m lucky enough to be one of those women. So that means a trip to the gyno for Diflucan, of which I needed multiple doses over two weeks to get rid of it after a failed week of trying to get rid of it with Monistat. The antibiotics for my UTI exacerbated my yeast infection, as they tend to do. Antibiotics get rid of all bacteria - even the good bacteria in the vagina, meaning there is an opportunity for yeast overgrowth. 

Now the question is, if you are having some fun with someone with a vagina or front hole, how do you make sure you’re being thoughtful and safe for your partner? The first step is to always keep open lines of communication in the bedroom. It’s probably no surprise to our readers, but many people don’t realize that each person and each body is different regarding desire and response. I think the first thing we have to acknowledge right out of the gate is that this is not a matter of morality or right sex versus wrong sex. When it comes to going from the anus to the vagina, it is merely a matter of biology. That being said, it is a kink, as well as a part of the landscape of modern porn, where people do enjoy going from ass to mouth or ass to vagina. More power to them. The goal of this article is not to dissuade anyone from their desires, but to arm as many people with information about the body so we can all make the most informed decisions possible and have fully aware and thoughtful conversations with those partners of ours who might have vaginas. Sexual knowledge is sexual power. 

Now let’s get down to it. The first step, as stated above, is not assuming whether or not someone may enjoy anus to vagina or mouth, but knowing that this very well could pose a health risk for some people, and being mindful to have open conversations. I would say creating an atmosphere in one’s sexual relationships of trust and safety is the solid foundation upon which good sex is built. For open communication to happen, we must feel safe and trust our partner/s. 

If you or a partner are interested in anus-to-vagina play, to safely participate, you will need to change condoms before going to a different hole. Every. Single. Time. For sex without a condom, this would mean the partner with the penis or penis-shaped toy would need to thoroughly wash the penis (or toy) with warm water and soap before going from the ass to the vagina. The penis often does not respond well to too much soap and water, or hot water, because the epidermis is extremely thin and fragile. The same skin that is at the tip of the penis, or the labia for that matter, is also on the lips. It is the same type of skin, which requires more mucosa than the skin on our arms and legs, which is much heartier. I am no doctor, but as a former sex worker, I would advise against washing these delicate body parts too much, especially at one time. It might be a good idea to also supplement with some nice water-based, organic lube after washing one’s penis just to ensure the fragile skin does not become irritated during sex. 

If you’re playing in someone’s vagina or front hole with your fingers, or your own for that matter, it’s a little easier, as mentioned above, the skin is much less delicate if you choose to use bare hands. You can also use nitrile medical-grade gloves for extra protection. But make sure to change gloves each time, because bacteria from other gloved fingers that have entered the anus can rub against the vaginal opening, urethral opening, or the labia in general and cause various infections. Remember, the distance between the anus and the urethra or the anus and the vagina is not much, and especially when there is friction, as there usually is during sex, it can be easy to spread bacteria across one's genitals. 