Getting in Bed with Bambi, Adon & Howl

Category: POV Podcast

Author: Aria Vega

Lustery triad Bambi, Adon, and Howl met at a series of sex parties before becoming partners and creative collaborators. These days, they’re making porn with a strong visual signature — one that gives kink the cinematic treatment it deserves.

Have thoughts, feedback, or story suggestions? Send an email or voice memo to askaria@lustery.com. You can follow the show on Twitter & Instagram and our host Aria is on Twitter.

This show features explicit language and sexual content, and is intended for a mature audience.

Theme song by LAS ODIO

Podcast Transcript:

Bambi Adon Howl-RC2.wav

Aria Vega [00:00:00] This podcast contains explicit content. Listener's discretion is advised. POV by Lustery explores culture, politics and creativity in the sex industry, one point of view at a time. I'm your host, Aria Vega.

Aria Vega [00:00:17] Bambi, Adon and Howl are Lustery triad living in Vancouver. Lustery viewers first met Bambi and Adon when they were still a couple, and then Howl entered the picture— literally! After staying behind the camera for a shoot or two, Howl joins their partners on screen for all kinds of kinky fun, including puppy play, water sports and more. Their videos are some of the most cinematic on Lustery, directed with flair in an elaborate dungeon. Their passion for pain and pleasure comes through every frame.

Aria Vega [00:00:55] [Interview] Bambi and Adon, I know that you were introduced through a mutual friend at a sex club on Halloween. What was the first thing you noticed about each other?

Adon [00:01:03] Probably her costume. She was dressed like a fawn, like a young deer, and I sort of sort of like met eyes with her and got this immediate impression of like, I'm going to eat this girl alive, which is a feeling that I always find very encouraging. It's uncommon that you can so immediately obtain the kind of gratification that might otherwise seem so scarce.

Aria Vega [00:01:31] What about you, Bambi? What was the first thing you noticed?

Bambi [00:01:33] I think it was probably your expression and your posture, because you looked at me like you were a villian *laughs* It was really cute. But also I was like, What is he up to? What is he thinking?

Aria Vega [00:01:55] I loved that these costumes were a ticket to understanding each other a little bit just without having to to say a word, because I know that you connected pretty quickly at the party.

Bambi [00:02:08] Yea, definitely. It was like that right away.

Aria Vega [00:02:12] And then what was the first date that you went on after the party? When did you decide to reconnect beyond just that one night?

Bambi [00:02:20] It was a couple of nights afterwards.. Our friend who introduced us, he was teaching his friend how to do shibari in his house. So when he was talking to us about that the night we met, we were like, Oh yeah, we'll totally go. Just because we wanted to see each other again.

Adon [00:02:38] Yes, like a pretense, really.

Bambi [00:02:40] Yeah *laughs* I've been tied up before, but I'm not very good at tying knots... yeah, it was really cute.

Aria Vega [00:02:52] I was going to ask you, when did it first become apparent that you had compatible kinks? But it sounds like that was pretty woven into your earliest interactions.

Bambi [00:03:04] Yeah, very quickly, I'd say.

Aria Vega [00:03:07] When did you establish a partnership?

Adon [00:03:10] I think it kind of remained just tacitly sort of understood from a fairly early stage, and we didn't really talk about it.

Bambi [00:03:21] It was just kind of like, once it started, it just didn't really stop. It just kind of kept snowballing and we were just like, Okay, well, this is my person. But like shortly after you asked if I wanted to be collared, and then we had that collaring ceremony on New Year's.

Aria Vega [00:03:40] Can you talk a little bit about the significance of a collar in a Dom/sub relationship like yours?

Adon [00:03:48] For me, it was a way of officializing inherent dynamics of our of our relationship anyway, which are kind of reinforced by this physical symbol that this person is wearing. And it was also like within the ceremony, there was these kind of catechism elements where like she would vow to do these outrageous demands that I had asked her and and whatnot. And it was sort of consolidating all of that in this in this object, [which] is really like, exciting or empowering for me.

Bambi [00:04:30] And from my perspective, it was a symbol of my devotion and relinquishing control, and also just kind of like this symbol of faith in him. Just like, Okay, well, I'm in your hands now. And back then I felt like it was like a manifestation of my trust in him.

Aria Vega [00:04:49] It's a really beautiful symbol. I'm sure you've heard comparisons to an engagement ring or something like that, but it sounds like so much more of a balanced exchange in terms of how you each relate to it. Because I feel like with something like an engagement ring, it often means a lot more to one party than another, and this seems like it's a powerful symbol for each of you.

Bambi [00:05:10] Yeah, yeah... And I guess with like a conventional engagement ring, you don't really have a written contract where you go by... I mean, you do you have a legal contract and vows. But it's not it's not sexy and it's another physical contract of your limits and your boundaries and your trust. Like literal trust in one another.

Aria Vega [00:05:34] [Voiceover] After Bambi and Adon had been together for about three years, they met their partner Howl at a party.

Howl [00:05:40] [Interview] I started attending the sort of events that were aforementioned briefly there. I'd never gone to any sort of sex parties or anything like that, and managed to get swept up.

Aria Vega [00:05:57] What was it about their energy that felt so sweeping to you?

Howl [00:06:01] They were always the center of attention without necessarily trying to be. Just effortlessly like, Oh wow, those are people that know exactly what they're doing, and whatever they're doing it seems like something that that I might be interested in. I had met each of them separately at their events over the course of a few that I had attended. Then the first time that I had attended an event where there was a specific engagement in terms of what you might see a sex party between me and them, or me and you, rather. I remember being pretty instantly kind of taken with Bambi's beauty and Adon's, how do I put it, I guess, character?

Adon [00:06:54] That's one way to put it, yeah.

Howl [00:06:58] I distinctly remember I was about to leave the event, and Bambi, who can be a bit shy, sent me a message that just said, I don't want you to leave. I was alone in the general area when I got that message and then I looked up, and it was almost as if in the blink of an eye, Adon was right there. And you know, [they] continued to extend their collective wish for me to say a little bit longer and I did, and it kind of just...

Bambi [00:07:43] ...Worked out! *Laughs*

Howl [00:07:44] Yeah, snowballed from there.

Bambi [00:07:45] It's cool too because when we met Howl, Adon has always been very rigidly dominant and I've always been very rigidly submissive, but you're a pretty set switch.

Howl [00:08:00] Yeah, pretty full 50/50.

Bambi [00:08:04] Introducing that into the dynamic was really cool because like most of the time, they're beating me up. But then sometimes he's beating us up and it's just great, it's really awesome. Tthen it's also in our personal dynamic with each other. I've taken on a bit more of a dominant role as a player, which is...

Howl [00:08:27] ...something that you never, ever thought you would do.

Bambi [00:08:30] I could never harness that energy, and now it's kind of cool to play around with it. Yeah.

Aria Vega [00:08:38] I'm really curious about this notion of Howl, who is a switch has helped you explore a side of yourself sexually that that you hadn't before. Are there other instances of your triad and the way that you play together — to any of you— Have you found that this relationship has helped you explore new sides of your sexuality?

Bambi [00:09:01] Personally, for me, it's like I know that this kind of dynamic allows me to kind of play with my preexisting trauma of like violent settings, but in a way where, ultimately like I'm at the hands of people that I love and trust and, I'm enjoying it and I'm able to go into places physically where I would have felt very guilty before. It's definitely made me feel like a much stronger person, able to withstand more in my life as well. Then with playing with being more dominant, it definitely helps my personality, [helps me] come out of my shell a bit, be able to stand up for myself or say no more, or just take on a leadership role in the room, which is cool. It's really it's like an interesting side effect of like the lifestyle.

Adon [00:09:51] On my end, it's more or less just enabled me to take my perversions further.

Aria Vega [00:10:00] I love that that's creating a safe space to explore perversions, to heal, to do all these different things that there aren't just like a lot of containers for in our society. Bambi, did you have a conscious awareness of the potential healing impact of working through trauma in a controlled setting with people who loved you? Were those scenes that you created with that intention? Or is that something that you noticed and discovered as you were chasing what felt right?

Bambi [00:10:32] I think it was a little bit of both. I think that most of it was really driven by what felt right and good at the time. And it just kind of like clicked in and was, I guess, like an aha moment. But there were times when I would remember sexual instances in the past where I would kind of tiptoe around these subjects with these scenes and then kind of see and gauge how my partner would react. But then they would be like, No, that's really fucked up, I never wanted you to feel like that, I feel like you've already been through so much. And I'm like, But I want to go through more at my own pace and my own discretion. So I always was like, OK, maybe it isn't— maybe it is fucked up. And then when it was actually happening and it was actually able to happen, work out for me, I was like, Oh, no, this is actually great! I had the right idea before, but I just didn't have the opportunity to realize the ideas.

Howl [00:11:35] I notice that your exploring it more overtly and trying to manifest it was also aided by the content that you produce solo. Sort of becoming more confident and being able to fulfill a more dominant role in your own content or whatnot.

Bambi [00:11:56] Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

Aria Vega [00:11:59] In one of the videos that you made for Lustery, I can't remember which, one of you talks about how important it is to have strong communication and trust in order to make a relationship like yours safe and functional. What did it look like to begin building that trust in each other?

Adon [00:12:19] I think initially you make a lot of mistakes, and then you sort of quarrel about them for a long time, and eventually you begin to get around to taking them apart and analyzing their their components. And then from that you're able to come to empathize with with one another and thereby sort of surmount these obstacles that you've encountered.

Bambi [00:12:48] Yeah, I do agree with you that it is a lot of trial and error from my perspective, because, no matter how many things you discuss and talk about and negotiate, you will never know how you will react to those things when they're actually happening. You'll never know what the physiological response or psychological response... There are so many factors in such intense activity that, for us especially, it was just lots of like trial and error. I'm sure we could have done a lot better communication, but yeah, now we're at a point where our communication is pretty solid and we're really good at pre-discussing things and intentions and stuff.

Aria Vega [00:13:38] [Voiceover] Solid might be an understatement when it comes to describing the communication front. That contract that Bambi and Adon created when Bambi received her collar was an actual formal one. And it's a fairly common practice among kinksters.

Adon [00:13:52] [Interview] I really sort of enjoyed the process of creating it and the implications of what that would naturally entail. I think a lot of those kind of arrangements, there is something like that, some sort of understanding how a person is beholden to certain responsibilities. But in this case, they were quite specific and quite rigorous. But they're really only in effect when when she does don the collar and whatnot. So most of the time, it's not really in effect.

Bambi [00:14:26] What I've heard from other people's dynamics is that some sort of contract is pretty common. But it doesn't look like it doesn't look like the Fifty Shades of Grey contract where it's like, I am allowed to do these things to you and you can't say no. That really tacky, not very ceremonious kind of contract that they handled very clumsily. We took our situation as more of like a ritualistic, ceremonious aspect.

Aria Vega [00:14:58] Do any of you all get really frustrated by lazy and inaccurate portrayals of your lifestyle, like 50 Shades of Grey?

Adon [00:15:08] It's really like silly. I don't know if I find it personally frustrating, but it is kind of like a comical of what the sort of the general understanding of this sort of thing and what people sort of think it is.

Howl [00:15:26] A lot of like average kind of like outside-looking-in takes upon hearing it just kind of like, Oh, it's like crazy. Just kind of almost like letting it be bigger and more intimidating than it is because it's easier than kind of actually discussing and exploring the ins and outs of what that looks like in practice.

Bambi [00:15:47] OK, so I have conflicting feelings about it because I really think it's tacky, it's terrible. I've forced myself to read it just so I could criticize it. And I watched the first film, and it's just so unfortunate that is the representation, the mainstream representation of the lifestyle. But what does mostly frustrate me is like when somebody finds out or is questioning me about my lifestyle and then it's like, oh yeah, like 50 Shades of Grey and I'm like, Absolutely not, nothing like that at all!

Howl [00:16:23] It'd be better if it was Cruising that people were saying that about, like Oh like in cruising? It's like, It's exactly like that.

Bambi [00:16:30] Anything else, just not that *laughs*

Aria Vega [00:16:33] [Voiceover] In case you haven't seen it, cruising is a 1980 thriller starring Al Pacino, loosely based on Gerald Walker's novel of the same name. Pacino stars as a cop who goes undercover in New York City's leather scene to hunt a serial killer that targets gay men. The film is a hotbed of hedonism, and over the years it's become a cult hit among queer and kinky people. It's a shame that someone would have to reach so far back in time just to find a movie with the portrayal of kink that even somewhat resonates. It's a big part of why this trio started making movies of their own.

Adon [00:17:08] [Interview] I think one thing that we all agree on is that we want to make the kind of porn that we would desire to find, because often you find something and it just has these certain elements of what you're looking for. But others are absent, and it can be quite frustrating. And then when we got involved in making this kind of stuff and then seeing the finished product and being able to say, I would be quite quite delighted to to come across this if I was if I was looking at porn sites on the internet.

Bambi [00:17:46] Yeah, definitely. My primary motive... Howl and I have always wanted to be directors and have always had a very strong love for film, and that kind of get into our porn. My major problem with live action porn is that it's often really oversaturated and bright and kind of static, and it's not very beautiful and it's pretty formulaic. It's just like a bright studio lights and bright orange skin tones, and I love that! I think that's really iconic. But like when something is really beautiful and it can be atmospheric, I think it just hits all the boxes in my brain and...

Howl [00:18:34] It has to be dirty at the same time.

Bambi [00:18:36] Yeah. Like it's it's tough to find stuff that's like has intense kinks, but is also really beautiful and beautifully shot.

Howl [00:18:46] I do a lot of the filming of the videos, and my main goal is always finding a perfect balance between what are we doing right now and what does that call for and what that looks like? Also, how can we also make this really beautiful just in terms of like the medium of film?

Bambi [00:19:08] Oh, and the lighting... I'm huge on lighting and I just love set design and just like little details.

Howl [00:19:15] Yeah we've all got little things that we bring to the table. You're really good with lighting and set. Adon is really good with the scripting of the story. Then I play around a lot with the perspective and the look of it. The focus shifting is still my favorite thing to play around with, I always love doing that.

Bambi [00:19:36] It's just such a good medium. It's like kind of filming a music video, but sexy, explicitly sexy.

Aria Vega [00:19:47] Yeah, I mean, like you said it's kind of rare to find visual media that is both explicit and just as highly produced as, like you're saying, a music video, and it's so much of it is because it feels like there are so few platforms that don't get slated as pornographic, because you know how the internet is, the internet thinks of porn as being its red light district and tries to cordon off everything explicit under that umbrella, even though so much art is fluid. It's not a binary porn and not porn. A lot of art is porn and a lot of porn is highly, highly produced art, and I'm glad that Lustery felt like a good home for work like that.

Bambi [00:20:34] Definitely my favorite... I put content in other places, but I think Lustery videos are my favorite ones to film because it's really it's like you put your brain to it, we really storyboard it... Not really storyboard it, more like, What do we want to show? Because, you know, it's a real scene, something really we want to do. And so we get a chance to show people what we do in our real lives, but like on camera and portrayed beautifully and authentically.

Howl [00:21:03] Storyboarding is even something I kind of wanted to like explore other than just sort of pumping out video after video in the same room with like a slightly different setting. That's totally important. I'm more interested in really trying to push both sides of what we can do with it.

Aria Vega [00:21:22] Are there...? I'm just curious, do we have any theater kids in the mix here? Just just a hunch... *Laughs*

Howl [00:21:30] What gave it away?

Aria Vega [00:21:37] That's Lustery triad Bambi, Adon, and Howl. If you're 18 or older and you like porn that paints with light while keeping things kinky as fuck, be sure to give their work a look on Lustery.com. Do you have a bone to pick with 50 Shades of Grey? I'm starting to think we need an entire episode to unpack that franchise. Send your thoughts via email or voice memo to askaria@lustery.com, or you can find me on Twitter @vegadreamcast. Lustery is the home of real life partners filming their sex lives behind closed doors. If you're 18 or older, you can find us at lustery.com, and we're on Twitter and Instagram @lusterypov. Happy New Year, lovers! See you in 2022.