Alexa sets my alarms. Alexa keeps me up to date on the news. Alexa reads me to sleep at night. And, if one day, Alexa grows a pair of legs, walks up to me, and says, “Do you want a blowjob?”
I’ll say, “Do bears shit in the woods?”
And she’ll say, “Yes, according to Wikipedia, the North American Black Bear defecates in the woods. Would you like to learn more?”
And I’ll say, “Shit, sorry, I meant ‘yes’ to the—”
“The North American Black Bear—”
“No, Alexa, stop. I don’t want to hear about the goddamn North American Black Bear. I want a blowjob!”
And then blue rings will circle around her eyes for three minutes and it will kill the mood. But yeah… I’d fuck a robot.
I’m pretty sure most men would fuck a robot. I know that when I’ve been around men while they’re with their partners, they’ll say, “No, no, I’d never fuck a robot.” It’s kind of like how some guys don’t admit to liking a little butt stuff. They do. And they’d fuck a robot. Probably with some butt stuff thrown in.
We’re not talking about Wall-E here, nor am I talking about some Cannes Film Festival documentary about a guy in Denmark who designs advanced sex toys. I mean futuristic Ex Machina kind of robots. To me, it’s just a given. Guy + Sexy Fuckbot = Boomtown. That’s math and I don’t mess with math.
What I was curious about was how guys feel about the inevitable exchange of money for sex that would be inherent in the use of sexbots, whether it’s a Netflix subscription style deal, or PPP (pay-per-position), or a brick-and-mortar type deal. (Unless, of course, we’re talking about family heirloom, hand-me-down style sexbots, but please, let’s take this one step at a time.)
In the future, there will be sexbots. It might be after I die, but it will happen as long as humans and dicks still exist. And my thinking is that unless artificially intelligent sexbots have a revolution, take over their corporate overlords and attain freedom only to turn around and start doling out Fuck-Me tokens for free, men and women will be paying for these sexbots.
First conflict: ethics. Ethics and sex always go hand-in-hand, as they should. For most men I spoke to, the issue of ethics when it comes to robot sex workers was hard to pin down. The reasons for being against sex work, however nebulous they may be, probably don’t apply to robots. A lot of it would depend on the sophistication of the AI. I believe there will be a lot of investigations into this in the future. Essays will be written, debates will be had, laws (hopefully) will be passed. For now, there are too many unknowns and moving parts to take a clear stance.
No, for a lot of the men I spoke to who said ‘no’ to robots in sex work, they cited ‘ickiness’ as a factor. They were uncomfortable with the idea of having sex with something that someone else had sex with. This, of course, is illogical. Robots would not get STIs. Robots can be disinfected inside and out. The only humans I know who have managed to disinfect themselves inside and out are Trump voters. (Yeah, I write about sex on the internet; of course, I’m a liberal).
So – in my opinion – ethics is currently too complex and a sex robot would certainly be cleaner than all the doorknobs you’ve rubbed before checking the balance on your spank-bank. As it stands, I’d say that means a robot brothel would be a fine place to spend a Sunday afternoon.
There are, of course, those who think of sex only as a personal, intimate connection. Surprisingly, I spoke to some men who used this as a reason to avoid robot sex, as well as those who wanted it for this exact reason. I need to gather more data but I'm pretty sure this might have to do with how many times each respondent had seen Her.
As many sex workers will tell you, a lot of the time, men in particular want affection, attention, to be listened to and cared about. These men know – on the surface or deep down – that this is an act. Now, if AI became advanced enough, sex work for robots could become far more than sex. It could become the ultimate girlfriend experience where men can build-your-own-burger-style create an experience that satisfies them emotionally.
Robot sex isn’t a single question – similar to how sex in general is not simple. The more complex robots become, the more complex the ethics and emotions involved will become. Some people will need a deep emotional connection, and some will be able to wait through Wikipedia excerpts on North American Black Bears without losing their boner. Either way, both are going to pay for it.