More ass and less assumption – this Anal April, we’re tackling some of the most persistent misconceptions about anal sex.

Is anal sex gay? Does anal always hurt? Is anal sex messy? This advice column seperates facts from fiction to make anal pleasure more accessible, enjoyable and shame-free.

Anal Sex Myths and Facts by Sam’s Cat from Shrimp Teeth

Debunking Anal Sex Myths

While anal sex has been getting more popular over the years, the hardest thing about enjoying anal remains the following: separating fact from fiction and allowing our exploration to be shame- and stigma-free. Recently, I asked my followers the most common myths they had heard about anal. Let’s debunk what’s true and what isn’t.

Fact: Anal sex is only gay if you’re gay

While many sexual acts are politicized, anal sex has been so central to homophobic panic. Conservatives particularly are obsessed with the notion that anal is a gay act, despite the obvious fact that many straight couples engage in this. As a result, there’s often shame for folks who don’t identify as gay men to openly discuss enjoying butt play. Many straight men return to middle school-level maturity when discussing the topic. Straight women may also hesitate to 

 or to receive anal for similar reasons. I can vividly remember dozens of examples in media and my personal life of straight people accusing one another of being gay when anal sex comes up. Whatever social scripts have caused our hang-up around anal, let me be clear: butts are what unify humans, we all have them, and to that end, anal is for anyone and everyone who enjoys it or is curious to try! Specific sex acts do not determine your sexual orientation. There’s nothing inherently gay about anal unless you are gay. So let’s bust the stigma around who is allowed to enjoy anal pleasure and make it more accessible to everyone who wants it.

Fact: A little preparation ahead of time does the trick

The second biggest concern about anal sex is hygiene, so let’s cover some basic cleanliness tips! First, make sure that you avoid going back to the front. This means that if you’re going to have vaginal sex after anal, thoroughly wash and disinfect hands, and toys, and switch barriers in between acts to avoid bacterial contamination. Lack of lubrication and proper warm-up can also result in tearing and even bleeding – we’ll go over that in a bit.

Beyond infection risks, the biggest concern tends to be around feces. I won’t beat around the bush – yes, there is a chance you’ll encounter a bit of poo during anal, and the chance increases the larger and deeper the penetration. With that said, most often, the amount is negligible, as long as you’ve had a chance to empty your bowels beforehand. You don’t need to stress too much. Simply wash the area with warm soap and water before sex and keep some baby wipes on hand just in case! Of course, sex is most enjoyable when you’re at ease. If you’re 

, you can douche a few hours ahead of time! Put a cup of lukewarm water in an enema bulb to flush out the first six inches of your rectum. Ensure you’re not using too much water, flushing too deep, or using water that is too hot or too cold, all of which can irritate your system and make everything messier. Companies like 

 sell complete hygiene sets with detailed instructions that make the process easy if you’ve never done an enema before! 

Fact: All types of sex carry risks, so use precautions accordingly

Like all forms of sexual activity, there are certain risks with anal sex. However, despite the stigma that developed during the AIDS epidemic, anal isn’t more dangerous than other forms of penetration, as long as you use some basic 

 practices. One of the obvious benefits is that, unlike penis-in-vagina sex, anal has zero pregnancy risk, which can be attractive to many couples. I mentioned a few considerations around cleanliness previously, which are all part of practicing safer sex. The other concern is around sexually transmitted infections, so here’s what you need to know about using barriers. For hand stuff, you can use gloves or finger cots to form a barrier against STIs and bacteria. This is especially important if you have cuts and scrapes on your hands or an active infection. Speaking of fingers, make sure your nails are trimmed and wash your hands prior. Condoms should be used on penises and toys for easier cleanup as well as prevention. As I mentioned, switch condoms between having anal and vaginal sex. Dental dams, like the wearable and 

, can be worn during rimming. Unlike traditional dams, wearable options don’t require you to hold them in place, making the experience easier and safer! It defeats the purpose of using dams if you drop it or set it down and can’t remember which side touched which person, so wearables are a game changer. Not only do dams promote safer sex, but they can also make the experience more comfortable if you have hang-ups about oral butt play. Like all forms of sex, make sure you and your partners are getting tested for STIs annually and go to the doctor if you notice anything unusual.

Myth 4: Anal Sex Must Involve Penetration

Fact: There are many different forms of butt play that range from no penetration to extreme penetration

There are a lot of types of butt play, and not all of them require penetration. Porn mostly depicts deep penetration with a penis, which is great if it’s what you enjoy, but it might take you some time to work up to that. Remember, porn stars are professionals! Unfortunately, some people get intimidated and shy away from all butt stuff as a result, but there are options for everyone. The first consideration is whether you want to give, receive, or both. Having a penis isn’t a requirement for penetration – harnesses, hands, and other toys can be used! You can start by trying touches on the exterior part of the butt, like sensual caresses, grabbing, spanking, or flogging. Grinding can be another entry point, offering stimulation without penetration. Your mouth offers a whole other set of options for providing anal pleasure. Rimming is an enjoyable sensation and it can help you warm up. You might even enjoy having your butt cheeks licked or bitten. When it comes to penetration, you can do shallow, medium, or deep entry using fingers, full hands, plugs, dildos, vibrators, and other toys. If you are using a dildo, plug or vibrator, make sure that it has a flared base so it doesn’t accidentally get stuck. No one wants an unexpected trip to the ER for medical removal. It might take some experimenting to figure out what sensations you enjoy, so keep an open mind and take the time to explore.

Facts: Anal hurts if you don’t employ the right technique

One of the most common rookie mistakes is trying to rush anal penetration. The most basic trick to enjoyable anal is to go slow and 

. Unlike vaginas, anuses do not self-lubricate, so picking a good lube is essential. I personally like a hybrid lube for anal, which contains silicone that can make it last longer, but some folks rightfully argue that hybrids can stain sheets and clothes. Do try to avoid oil-based lube, if possible – since it’s harder to clean, there’s a higher likelihood of bacteria traveling into your vagina or urethra. A standard water-based lube is always a safe bet. Lubes that are infused with THC or CBD can also be a good option to help relax your muscles.

Beyond lube, it’s also important to warm up for penetration, starting with a single finger and gradually working up to larger sizes. What porn usually doesn’t show is the 

. Going straight to deep penetration can be painful, even for folks with lots of practice. You can use dilators, a set of size-increasing dildos, or inflatable toys to help with anal training, if you want to get more comfortable. The technique develops the more you practice, so make sure to give your pals feedback and be open to hearing their comments as you try out new things.

Above all, anal play should be fun and stress-free! Remember to keep a positive attitude and to be open to making adjustments so that everyone has a more enjoyable time. Happy Anal April!