Big, Bigger, Biggest: Which anal toy is right for me?

Category: Advice

Author: Jaimee Bell

Taking your sex toy game from oh to oOoohhhHh isn’t just about finding the biggest butt plug you can and attempting to use it. This is a fantastic way to cause yourself discomfort and make it even more daunting to try again in the future. The thing you need to know about searching for bigger sex toys is this: ‘big’ is a relative term. Your definition of ‘big’ toys will change over time – that’s the point!

To get to the biggest and baddest anal toy you’ve ever tried, you will have to work your way up. Along the way, you may be surprised to find your perfect fit isn’t the biggest one out there… or maybe it is.

If you’re a total newbie to the anal play game, this will help you figure out where to start. If you’re more experienced, you’ll be able to figure out how to get to the next level of anal fun.

Which anal toy is right for me?

First, do some research into the different types of anal toys and decide which is best for you.

If you’re new to the world of anal sex toys, it can be intimidating to say the least. Even if you’ve purchased anal toys before, doing more research can help you find the next type of toy you want to try. Wherever you’re at in your anal play adventure, the most helpful thing you can do for your future self right now is to just research different types of anal toys.

They typically fall into these categories:

Within these categories, you’ll find plenty of variety. From the material (silicone, glass, steel) to the weight and, of course, the size, the options are practically endless.

Look into the right kind of lubricant for your toy and body

Silicone, water based, gel-based… There are quite a few different types of lube out there. Most commonly used for anal sex and anal play, silicone lubricants have been hailed for their ability to stay moist and slick. Additionally, each toy may have a certain type of lubricant with which it works best. Adding some lube to your shopping cart before you check out is a must, as virtually all anal play will need some form of lubricant – especially as you size up.

Consider an anal douche

Most people know this term but don’t actually understand how anal douching works. Let’s start with a simple fact: shit happens. Additionally, the anus doesn’t lubricate itself. This means there is no way for it to flush remnants of lube (or other bodily fluids) away. People who are interested in anal play may look into anal douches as a way to reduce the risk of mess or ensure that they are staying on top of their hygiene game. With an anal douche, you simply flush out your anal cavity with warm water through a squeeze bulb. This washes away any fecal matter, lube or other residue. While not every person who uses anal toys or enjoys anal sex will use anal douching as a way of keeping things clean, it’s an option you may want to look into.

Start with an anal training kit

If it’s butt plugs, anal beads, or dildos that you’re interested in, most of the time you’ll be able to find ‘trainer kits’ (or starter kits) that are best for beginners. These kits will typically have three or four different sizes available. Simply start at the smallest, get comfortable with that, and then work your way to the bigger sizes. This is virtually the best way to ensure you’re safely leveling up to bigger anal toys.

What is anal training, anyways? The term refers to the practice of gradually stretching your anus with fingers and toys, little by little and over time. To break it down into easy terms: your anus consists of two sphincters: an inner one that you can’t control, and an outer one that can be controlled. You can teach your outer sphincter, through anal training, to relax and accommodate larger sex toys.

Don’t forget the warm-up for anal sex, even if you’re experienced

Even if you use bigger toys often, warm yourself up with fingers or smaller toys. If a large anal toy is what you use every time, you may find sometimes that you still need to start with a small toy for a few minutes to get yourself loosened up. Sometimes even veteran anal players need a warm up. Just because you can use bigger toys, doesn’t mean that’s always where it’s best to start.

Please avoid desensitizing lubes

A while back, there seemed to be this huge craze over lubes that numb you up wherever you apply them. This is absolutely a no-go when it comes to anal sex – and really, I’m having trouble figuring out exactly what these lubes can be safely used for. The thing that most people assume will happen with a numbing lube is that you use it, have totally pain-free anal fun, and then it wears off and you’re totally fine. However, what’s incredibly likely to happen is that you use it, have relatively pain-free anal fun… and then notice afterwards that you pushed yourself too far and are incredibly sore. The issue here is that your body sends you signals during anal stimulation to let you know when to slow down, when to change positions, when you’re getting uncomfortable. If you remove those sensations, you’re still pushing yourself too far – you just don’t know it until after the numbing agent has worn off.

How to have pain-free anal sex

Trust your body – it will tell you what pace you need to go in your anal toy adventures.

That brings us to our final and most important lesson in leveling up your anal play game with bigger, badder sex toys: trust your body. Your body will tell you, if you listen to it, when you’re ready to move on to a bigger size toy. You will be more comfortable with the toy size you have, you will be able to wear the toy for longer, and you’ll feel inserting the toy gets easier and easier. This is when it’s safe to try the next size. Again, listen to your body: if the next size still seems like it’s not going smoothly, consider warming yourself up a bit more with the smaller sizes.

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