The Cuffing Season Guide

December 12, 2019 4 min read

The heating goes on, Netflix consumption goes up and instead of going out to meet people, we install a permanent partner in our homes. Time to stop getting out of bed to make your own breakfast, it’s cuffing season! The time of year where you find somebody to do it all, when the routinely single and promiscuous choose to settle. It’s proven that we’re more likely to Google dating sites in the cooler months and set Facebook status to ‘in a relationship’. But is cuffing the answer?

No Sun Makes Us SAD

Grey sky and shorter days can leave a dark hole that we might be tempted to fill with a significant other. Studies show that getting less sunlight alone leads to reduced Vitamin D, serotonin and increased melatonin, making us feel miserable and sluggish, and can lead to seasonal affective disorder (SAD). It’s no wonder people are reaching for human comfort, while others take precautions by sunning their buttholes

Cooler, shorter days also means more bailing on friends in favour of the duvet. But when you reach the end of that TV series, or that mug of cocoa and have to finally admit that you, too, feel empty and alone, cuffing seems appealing. That may well be the right choice for you. If it isn’t, and you are usually extroverted, just suck it up and socialize. Dinner at home, movie nights, candle-lit may be too glacial to saunter from bar to bar in a mini dress but other options are available. 

It’s The Most Fertile Time Of The Year

Deer mate in Autumn so that their cubs arrive in spring. Most animals have mating seasons, so we probably do to. In fact, human mating season could be the real reason behind cuffing season. Our hormones spike during winter, with Testosterone and estrogen peaking - making this the horniest time of the year. It makes sense then, that we see higher birth rates in summer, when our offspring would be more likely to survive in the past. 

Home Alone

Even if your family doesn’t leave you home alone to fend for yourself in the holidays, navigating them is still going to be riddled with traps. Family pressure is A LOT at this time, so why wouldn’t you want to bring a buffer/partner home to make the parents happy? 

It takes the pressure off of you after all, and having a non-family member around might actually make your family act civil. So even if you’re not loved-up, consider just making up an imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend. Talking about them will consume time that might otherwise be spent explaining why you’re still unemployed or listening to your uncle gush about the tories.

Oh, don’t be silly Bridget!

We try to heat things up in winter by watching more romantic films, where heroines overcome hurdles and stop traffic to finally kiss ‘the one’ in the snow. Instead of trying to emulate this, what if ‘the one’ needs to be you this year? Take time to work out what you truly want, whether that’s sticking with your relationship, starting a new one or doing Korean Face masks in the bath. Pandas are warm and fuzzy too. 

Relationships aren’t just for the holidays, they’re a big commitment. Exercise autonomy in deciding the kind of partner you want to cozy up to, if at all. Sure the looming chills, hormones and worst of all, family, might be telling you to couple-up. But if the relationship backfires? 

Well, given all these factors, you might end up feeling lower than ever. So whilst it’s nice to snuggle and not make your own toast, cuffing season may not be for everybody and with excellent products like these on the market, who cares? There’s always your cat.

Olivia Rose
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