A Short and Sweet Guide to Rimming

December 12,20165 min read

"Shall I rim you?" I whispered. He shifted his limbs in assent.

Turned on his side and opened his legs, let me pass

To the dark parts behind.”

W.H. Auden - The Platonic Bow


Nice one, Mr. Auden. But what IS rimming? Well, rimming is the insider-term for anilingus (NOT analingus, in case you wanna brag at the next cocktail party) and simply means oral-anal contact. As such it is the joker of sexy time! We’ve all got the required body parts after all: Bumholes and tongues. More specifically rimming involves licking, sucking and probing the bumhole with lips and tongue. And in case that doesn’t make a lot of sense to you straight away, let me remind you that our nether region is abound with nerve endings, making it very sensitive to stimulation. 


See, I knew you’d understand.


But as straightforward as it sounds, alas, it’s not. Unless you’re into faeces, you probably prefer to rim a clean hole. And that’s why rimming takes a bit of preparation. Some sex experts suggest undertaking an anal douche before any sort of anal sex. However, as safe as an anal douche can feel before exploring the anus with more than just a tongue, for rimming a full on anal douche won’t be necessary. 

I promise. You can get perfectly clean with some warm water and soap - just use your finger to make sure that your anus is clean, preferably clean it twice to make extra sure. It also makes sense to not eat about 2 hours beforehand, as a courtesy to whomever is rimming you. 


Right. Now that you’re clean, you can take a leaf out of Auden’s book and “pass to the dark parts behind”. If you’re a first timer start slow and make sure you communicate with your partner, checking whether you’re not being too rough. Unless that’s what you’re aiming at. In that case: Still check with your partner. (The anal region IS sensitive, just sayin’.)


In terms of positions you can pretty much try everything your flexibility will allow for. It’s probably easiest to start with one of you lying on the back, spreading your legs and holding them open with both hands to give your partner easier access. However you can also kneel on all fours, with the rimming partner behind. If the person to be rimmed is standing up you can also squat down behind. Or try squatting on top of your partner, aiming at a rimming 69.

When it comes to the actual rimming you can use your fingers and hands to ease your mouth’s access or to touch your partner’s genitals simultaneously. Lick around, kiss, nible, stroke, try and stick your tongue in. And don’t just focus on the actual hole, but consider the whole region. If you or your partner feel the need for some lubrication, use your spit or some (flavoured) lube.


However, as you can probably guess, such fun rarely comes without a safety warning: Please never, really, never go from licking someone’s bum to someone’s vagina. Anal bacteria are no fun at all and can cause nasty infections. Talking of which: If you’re unsure whether one of you might have an STD, you can use dental dams as a protection. They might take a bit of time to get used to, but safety first, I’d say!


So. What is there left to say? Enjoy, sweet ones!

Dr. G-Punkt
« Dr. G-Punkt is a real doctor (lit, not clit) and journalist. She writes on sex, love, relationships and gender. » All posts →