Sex parties: first steps

October 23, 2017 2 min read

Sex clubs, BDSM dungeons, and sex parties can be daunting events for first-timers, and understandably so! Society doesn't teach us the social etiquette for going to a party where people are naked and getting spanked, fucked, and licked, and most people don't have experience with such events. But fear not, I've got 5 tips to make your first trip to the sex club a seamless and fun adventure!

1) Get to know people beforehand

Meeting people beforehand is a great first step in making sure your first experience is stress-free. If the event is organized on a social media site like Fetlife or Facebook, you can post in the event asking if anyone would like to meet up and go together. You can also ask friends you already know if they want to join you, or see if the group running the event has more casual meet-ups that you can attend first.

2) Dress up (or undress)
Most dungeons and sex clubs have dress codes, and although you might worry about standing out, the easiest way to fit in is to adhere to the dress code! Depending on the event, this could mean a themed costume, elegant fetish wear, or being partially nude. Fun and unique clothing is also a great conversation starter!

3) Don't be afraid to ask questions!
Remember that everyone was a newbie to sex parties once, and no one should be judging you for asking (non-intrusive) questions. In my experience, people at parties like this tend to be super friendly and willing to help out.

4) Introduce yourself & make friends
I know, you've heard this one before. But this is especially important at sex clubs,because some people get stuck in the mindset of only talking to people they want to have sex with. Although that might seem like a great idea, it will only alienate you, and you will miss out on the chance to meet someone who could become your friend, mentor, or buddy at the next event.

5) Consent, consent, consent
Last, but certainly not least, consent is king at sex parties, clubs, and dungeons. Those who do not respect consent are kicked out of such events. Consent goes for more than just touch – it's also necessary when watching. Unless a party has an open voyeur policy, ask before you stare.

Take all this advice, and you'll be sure to make some exciting memories at your first sex party!

Lucy Huxley
« Lucy Huxley is a polyamorous porn performer and creator based in Berlin. She is passionate about sex education, BDSM, and creating art in all forms. » All posts →