I Have Everything I Need Right Here

August 12 4 min read

“Maybe we just need to get away,” you might have said a lifetime ago, back when pandemics were the stuff of science fiction. 

We often turn to holidays to see partners and ourselves with fresh eyes, thinking the most awe-inspiring experiences lie elsewhere. We need to relax on a sandy beach where, stunned into humility, we might fall in love all over again. 

But you don’t have to go across the world to do that. 

You can find escapism without leaving your town or even your front door. It’s going to require some effort though. You can’t just do what you normally do, or even what you would do on a good day. Sitting by the canal in Berlin is magical for tourists. But for me? I live here. Drinking cheap beer on the dirty ground is just part of my glamorous everyday life. So think: how can I make it new? 

Here are some Houdini-esque tips to get away, whilst staying pretty much exactly where you are.

Make a Psychedelic Sex Fort

I’ve been an enthusiastic den builder for most of my life now. They look a little different from the forts I built as a kid, more seductive drapes, fewer collapsing sofa cushions. But the idea is the same. What you do in the fairy-lit den is entirely up to you (I gave you a hint in the subheading).

Go Skinny Dipping

If you are lucky enough to live near the water this is probably a normal activity for you. So here’s a brave suggestion: do it naked. It’s risky, it’s freeing and it makes applying suntan lotion a lot easier. Be mindful we're still living through a pandemic, so go early when fewer potential virus-carriers will be there to ogle your rosy butt.

Go Camping Like a Grown-Up

First, watch Mike Leigh’s Nuts in May to learn the correct camping etiquette for couples. Next, be a grown-up. Don’t try to light a fire with sticks or heat some disgusting bag of space food. Take a BBQ, foldable chars and a luxurious inflatable mattress. Go camping like you wish you were back home in bed.

Indulge in Tropical Shirt Role Play

For many of us, getting away is a chance to be a better version of ourselves - the one that paints nails, wears heels and adores tropical shirts - don't let staying home stop you. What are you going to do when you’re all dressed up? If you can’t go for dinner due to restrictions/money, turn this into roleplay. Have your partner serve you. Treat each other like strangers at a hotel. Play a character you both find sexy from a TV show. 

Go For a Posh Picnic

I’ve always been happy with an unfussy picnic as long as the tiny assorted sandwiches have their crusts cut off. Recently though, Instagram has me thinking I can do better. Macaroons, homemade summer rolls and sparkling rosé are all making an appearance on new wave picnic mats. Seems extravagant? You might be limited to your local dog park this year, sausage rolls won’t cut it.

Go for the Cheesiest Bike Ride of Your Life

We’re trying to emulate the novelty of holidays here. I want to remind you of that before you cringe at this one. Ready? Tandem bike. It’s cheesy and it’s fabulous. What better way to conjoin with a lover? Plan a beautiful route and ride off into the sunset like an intrepid centipede.

Take In Some Culture

When you’re in Rome it’s all about magnificent art museums. Surely there are cultural equivalents back home? All kinds of gloriously specific museums are out there. Germany alone has a Thimble Museum, The Museum of Snoring, and a Food Additive Museum. It’s incredible how much culture is right on our doorstep.

Make a Bar in Your Living Room

Conjure some cocktails and make a nostalgic playlist. Reminisce on holidays past. What did you have for breakfast the first day? What parts of the trip do you remember differently? Did you mess up the hotel booking or did they? Sometimes we get so caught up creating new fights, we forget to cherish the old ones.

Of course, it’s not ideal to admire the view from your local car park when you could have been up a mountain. But I do actually mean every single one of these suggestions (even the tandem). It’s important to escape and have a laugh together, no matter where you are - the greatest memories aren’t as far away as you think. 

Olivia Rose
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