Non-penetrative Sex: learn the basics

Jun 25, 2017

Although it's fair to assume that most of us like to be pounded from time to time, sex doesn't always have to be about penetration. Some of my kinkiest encounters have revolved around sensory stimulation; rimming, sucking and even dry-humping can be handy tools at your disposal to shake up your sex life and keep your partner on their toes (and, if you're lucky, on their knees!) So, if you do want to spice things up without literally going deep, here are a few tips to maximise your pleasure without penetration.

Oral

Okay, this one is fairly obvious. You want this to be the main course, not just the appetiser, so start with a heavy make-out session and slowly slide your way down south. Tease with your tongue, lightly nibble the thighs and use your tongue to its full advantage – both the clit and the dick tip respond well to this kind of stimulation, so start gentle before really getting down to business.

Butt Stuff

I've said it before and I'll say it again: rimming is great. Cleanliness can obviously not be overstated here, nor can communication – the last thing you need is to be suffocated by your partner's enthusiastic response to your request that they sit on your face. Flavoured lube can spice (or sweeten) this up, whereas things can get really intense and lead to incredible orgasms once you're both comfortable and wet enough to get stuck right in.

Fingering

Cunnilingus is all well and good, but there are some spots even a tongue can't hit. Clitoral stimulation results in vaginal stimulation, making it a no-brainer – but make sure your partner's comfortable and don't just thrust around. Men might also benefit from opening themselves up to the possibility of a finger being slid in just before ejaculation, as it makes the cumshot twice as intense (and also lets you feel your partner clench with ecstasy, which is pretty damn hot.) Regardless of gender, play your cards right and you might hit the elusive G-spot – but, for fuck's sake, trim your nails first.

Everything Else

Use your imagination! Spanking, humping and nibbling are pretty universally adored, whereas breast stimulation and bodies rubbing against each other – especially when pre-cum is involved – can be just as sexy as a straight-up fuck. Consent is, as always, key, but don't be afraid to push your limits a little as long as you have the right partner and, of course, a memorable safe word.

Category: Sex 101
Jake Hall
Jake Hall
Jake is a freelance writer fascinated by everything from art and music to fashion and, of course, sex. He is also a postgraduate student of Gender & Sexuality.

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