I recently came across a text about the ‘secret’ of female ejaculation; it made my blood boil. There’s no ‘mystery’ or ‘magic’ around the potential of female sexual pleasure, just scarce and biased information about it. Whoever is interested in the issue should be very selective about their sources. Some information about ‘squirting’ and the ‘G-spot’ can be pretty misleading.
Here’s some advice you might not find on the average ‘How-to-have-Spectacular-Orgasms-on-your-Man’s-Terms’ articles all over the internet.
1. Stop calling it ‘G-spot’
Ejaculate is produced by paraurethral glands (formerly called ‘Skene glands’) covered with erectile, sponge tissue located at the lower end of the urethra. They are almost identical to the male prostate, so they have been renamed ‘female prostate’. Calling ‘spot’ a specific part of our body with particular functions only adds unnecessary mysticism. Have you felt a distinct rough surface on the front wall of your –or others- vagina? That’s the prostate! In my experience, the easiest position for locating and stimulating it with your fingers –in a ‘come hither’ movement- is squatting.
2. Re-educate yourself to make a mess
That sudden need of peeing when you’re aroused is ejaculate waiting to be expelled through the urethra and the perfect moment to relax and let it all flow out. That’s not always easy though. People with vaginas are normally taught to be ‘clean’ and implode during sex. Also, some are used to tightening their muscles when close to orgasm, whereas relaxing allows the expulsion of ejaculate in many cases. Trick yourself into positions that make it difficult to tense your muscles, take your time, alternate with other forms of stimulation you enjoy, breathe deeply and try to push down. Don’t despair! Don’t be afraid of ‘peeing’, relax for a change and leave a hot, wet mess!
3. All prostates are different
Therefore, there’s not a single technique for ejaculating and it can certainly be achieved without penetration. Keep playing and you’ll eventually know what works for you, try to be patient at all times! Unlike male prostates, the female ones don’t necessarily ejaculate at the time of orgasm; with adequate stimulation they can do it at any time, multiple times. Also, bear in mind that the amount of fluid one can ejaculate is variable and expelled differently; in some cases ejaculation is retrograde.
4. You might not love how it feels
Just like with any other sexual practice, we all have different sensitivities and tastes. You might love it, or you might not enjoy it that much. Don’t feel compelled to love playing with your prostate, knowing what our bodies are capable of is already an immense pleasure!
Miriam and Jorge bounce off each other, their personalities perfectly intertwined. This is something that absolutely extends itself to the bedroom. Their sex life is constantly evolving, being experimental has been the key to keeping that all important ‘spark’.
Once you reach a certain age the excitement of Santa, sleigh bells and snowballs seem a distant memory. Replaced instead with the embarrassment of that Office Party smooch under the mistletoe, your ever decreasing bank account (hello overdraft) or the dread of having to sit through hours upon hours of Christmas re runs whilst your Nan snores her way through the ‘excitement’.
I had a gut feeling, a desire maybe, so I decided to give it a try. I sent a couple of heartfelt emails about my musings on porn and sexuality, which to my excitement received an enthusiastic reply and led to my first shoot offer. The next thing I knew, I was fucking a hot guy with a sexy bum in front of two cameras.