Once you reach a certain age the excitement of Santa, sleigh bells and snowballs seem a distant memory. Replaced instead with the embarrassment of that Office Party smooch under the mistletoe, your ever decreasing bank account (hello overdraft) or the dread of having to sit through hours upon hours of Christmas re runs whilst your Nan snores her way through the ‘excitement’.
Ok, we admit we can never make you believe in Santa again or help you out with the Bank Balance (sorry about that) but we do have a few ideas that we believe can bring some special Christmas cheer to you and that special someone. So let’s dive right in and see if, with the help of Lustery, we can get you firmly on to Santa’s Extremely Naughty List.
1. Sexy Stocking Stuffers
Ok here’s the plan. You each have a stocking, only to be filled with presents for each other and placed at the end of the bed until the big day. The only rule of what is allowed in the stockings; whatever it is, it has to have the sole purpose of providing fun in the bedroom. Edible panties, tingly lube, vibrators, cock rings…you get the idea. It has to fit in the stocking and it has to be all about pleasure. These smaller, stocking sized items, will be just the thing to provide some fun and excitement over the holiday period…just be sure not to get your stocking mixed up with Grandpa and Grandma’s.
2. Roast some nuts on the Open Fire
Make your front room into a cosy little love nest and rekindle the flame by keeping each other warm this Christmas. Fire roaring, eggnog in hand, clothes optional, Christmas music playing merrily. It’s the vision of Christmas everyone has, so why not make it a reality! The Eggnog or mulled wine will help to release those inhibitions and the romantic setting should lead to an evening of pure desire. Don’t get too close to the fire though, roasted nuts aren’t all they are made out to be!
3. A time for Giving and Receiving
Christmas is a time for giving and receiving. It’s a tradition as old as time but for those with a dirty mind just a mere utter of the phrase makes the mind wander to wholly inappropriate places. This festive season however we say let’s embrace the tradition. Let’s reclaim it for the adults. Make a point of incorporating oral sex in to your sex life this Christmas and help ensure Santa isn’t the only one going down (the chimney in his case, you have a dirty mind) on the 25th.
4. Party Pleasure
‘Hey, that was such a good office party, who knew John from Accounts was such a cool and interesting guy. I’m so happy I drank a perfectly normal amount’. Words uttered by no human ever. Why don’t you and your partner make this year’s one to remember for all the right reasons! Introduce some role play to the evening, playing strangers, exchanging glances and sensual whispers as you pass by. Once things really start hotting up, there is always the photocopying room…
What IS rimming? Well, rimming is the insider-term for anilingus (NOT analingus, in case you wanna brag at the next cocktail party) and simply means oral-anal contact. As such it is the joker of sexy time!